The Fort Street Open Door Program Needs Help

The Fort Street Open Door program in Detroit is in desperate need of coats and warm clothing for adults. The Open Door program is an outreach ministry of the Fort Street Presbyterian Church in Detroit, Michigan that provides food and clothing to the poor and disadvantaged of Detroit. You can easily donate a coat or clothing to the organization by shopping on-line at Target or Wal-Mart and have the items shipped directly to the organization. Their mailing address is Fort Street Presbyterian Church, 631 West Fort Street, Detroit MI 48226. Or you can call them at 313-961-4533 and ask for John Heiss.

Community Service Ideas for Kids and Families

Volunteer Opportunities for Families

The United Way helps thousands of people every year through the support of many non-profit charities and organizations. If your family is looking for local community service project ideas, be sure to visit the United Way website to find an opportunity in your neighborhood. Simply type in your zip code!

A special thanks to Amy Norden for sharing this suggestion. You can visit Amy at her website, http://www.marykay.com/anorden

Family Activities

Thanksgiving Traditions

This suggestion comes from Saralee Sky, owner of Baby Nut and is great for families with older kids.

“I usually put some kind of quote by everyone’s plate and have them read it. One year the quotes were from the Dalai Lama. Last year [my husband] read something from Carlos Castaneda I think. This year I plan to print out the Simple Gifts song – from the Quakers – and put it on everyone’s plate.”

Families with Purpose

How to Keep the Spirit of Giving Alive in your Family

As the snow begins to fall and holiday songs begin playing in the stores and on the radio, it’s hard not to get caught up in the loving festive spirit of the holidays. Inspired by the festive spirit, many families use the holidays as a time to give to those less fortunate by donating toys, food, and clothing in the hopes of making the holidays a little brighter for others. But after the holidays are over and families return to the routines of their daily lives, it gets difficult to keep the giving spirit from fading away. So here are some tips to help even the busiest of families maintain their giving spirit throughout the year.Start Small - If you are a family that generally only volunteers their time during the holidays then trying to take on a weekly volunteer effort will be overwhelming and doomed for failure. Instead, pick one day a month or every three months and start from there. Successful regular family volunteering efforts start small and then build as the family and their experiences grow.

Plan & Schedule It - Get out the family calendar and pick and schedule a date. If it’s not on the calendar it wont happen.

Pick the Right Charity - Find a charity right for families. Not all charities are best for volunteering in a group or with kids. If the charity doesn’t have age appropriate jobs for kids, they won’t feel like they are helping and will get frustrated and bored. Also, make sure your kids are emotionally ready for volunteering. Some kids can be frightened to see a homeless person or worse a homeless child, so be sure your kids are ready for the choice.

Involve Everyone in the Choice - When deciding which volunteering effort to take on, be sure to include everyone in the decision, so that all family members can have their voices, interests, and concerns heard.
Pick a Cause that Interests You - Pick a charity or event that has interest for the family and where your skills can be used. It’s easy to volunteer on a regular basis if you enjoy what you do and are making real contributions.

Read Books - Read books together that inspire and grow understanding and awareness. Some good choices are Fly Away Home, The Lady in the Box, The Goodness Gorillas, The Giving Tree, Kid’s Random Acts of Kindness.

Make it a Habit - Incorporate giving into your daily routines by scheduling events on the family calendar, donating regularly to your place of worship or a charity of your choice, and by establishing a Giving Box.

10 Ways your Family Can Help During the Holidays

Serve a meal at a homeless shelter. Kids can set the tables while parents prepare and serve food. Prior to the volunteer day, work together as a family to bake cookies or make table decorations.

Donate toys to your local Toys for Tots campaign. The recent hurricanes have left many families homeless and jobless, so the need for toys is even greater this year. You can find a drop off location by visiting the Toys for Tots website or make an on-line donation here.

Buy something off of a charity’s wish list. Many charities now register a wish list at department stores. Donors can then go on-line and order something off of the charity’s wish list and have it sent directly to the organization’s door.

Shop with a cause by making your holiday gift purchases from organizations who contribute all or most of their revenues to a specific cause. Some organizations you may want to try are www.IGive.com, www.mycause.com , www.schoolpop.com , www.angelcovers.com.

Decorate a nursing home to help make the holidays a little more merry for the elderly.

Take an elderly person shopping.

Invite a single or elderly person to your holiday celebrations. If they are unable to leave their home, then visit them.

Make stockings filled with animal goodies and donate to your local animal shelter.

Donate to a charity in honor or memory of a loved one. Rather than buy your mother another sweater she doesn’t need or want, give the money to a charity instead.

Adopt a needy family by providing them with gifts, food, and clothing. Your local social service organizations or United Way can usually help you find a family in need.

Weekend Plans - National Family Volunteer Day and Harry Potter

November 19th is National Family Volunteer Day and marks the beginning of National Family Week. Visit 1-800-Volunteer.org to find one in your local area.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire opens today. Parents should be alert to the fact that unlike the prior Harry Potter movies this one is rated PG13 and contains two deaths and more intense scariness. To learn more about this movie read the review at Common Sense Media or Yahoo’s Movie Mom review.

Finding 1:1 Time with your Kids

Looking for 1:1 time with one of your kids? Then take them grocery shopping. Pick a night or day during the week (never go grocery shopping on the weekends when the stores are very busy) and take your child grocery shopping. Let them help you pick things off your list and pick out their favorite snack. Finish off the shopping trip with a quick stop for ice cream. Remember, your kids will thank you for the little things later.

Family Activities

Should Dad’s Tell their Kids the Truth?

By: Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC

Some day, you’ll be sitting with your child, listening to the radio or watching a program on TV. Somebody will be talking about premarital sex, illegal drug use, breaking the law, or some other highly charged issue. And then, your child will start to ask questions. What did you do when you were younger? How often?

While some fathers might consider leaving the room, the best idea is to have a plan to address these kinds of questions.

So how should you handle this?

Do you just tell them everything, and hope they don’t do the same things you did, or do you avoid telling the truth? For a while, psychologists were suggesting to parents that the best strategy to use was telling the truth about your past. If you experimented with or used drugs, just let your kids know. Being honest with your kids was more important than any other consideration.

The problem with this strategy is that it doesn’t take into account your child’s maturity level. It doesn’t consider their readiness to hear this kind of information. Some kids just aren’t ready to handle the
fact that Dad smoked pot when he was younger, or that he had sex with other women before he was married.

If you‘re telling your kids this kind of information just to feel better, and “get it off your chest,” you’re guilty of trying to make yourself feel better at the expense of your kids. This may not only shatter an
image your kids have of you, it may seem like an endorsement for them to have the same kinds of experiences.

Kids often have an idealized vision of their parents (although their comments and behavior may belie this), and information about a parent’s prior transgressions can be very difficult for them to handle.
It adds confusion to an already complex and difficult relationship.

While honesty with your kids is important, one should also consider timing, and a child’s readiness to hear. All of these factors should be considered when fathers decide on a strategy to use with their
kids. And when a strategy is used, it should be consistent. Here are a few of the strategies that can be used with your kids, with a few of the advantages and disadvantages:

Only speak about your past if asked. This strategy will work for almost everyone. There’s no need to go into your past transgressions if it’s not necessary. In this case, “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” However, it’s important to be ready with your responses, because the questions can come at any time.

Tell your child that you’ll talk about these things at a later date. If you don’t feel your child is ready for this kind of information, there’s no need to lie to them. It’s far better to be honest, and let them
know you’ll fill them in at some later time. They may howl and accuse you of being guilty, so you’ll have to handle it.

If you do feel your child is ready to hear about your past transgressions, make sure you tell them as little as they need to know. They don’t need to know the specific details of what you did, or exactly how many times. If they ask for this information, you can tell them you’re not quite sure (Which I believe for most fathers
would be true). And by all means, don’t give them the message that, “I did these things, and look how well I’m doing now!” This is a clear message to your kids that doing these things can work for them, too.

Gather the “lessons learned” from your experiences, and relay that to your child. If you had negative experiences, be very clear with your child concerning what these negative experiences were. Be careful not to preach to them. The “lessons learned” can be lost in a flash if your child feels “lectured to.” Just let them hear what you have to say, and make their own decisions. Your negative experiences will speak loudly enough. Whether you speak about your own experiences, or just talk about the perspective you now have as an adult, let them know the risks associated with the behaviors.

When your child asks about your past, find out the reason they’re asking. Is it something they’re experiencing at school, or do they want to find out some “secrets” about their parents? It’s important to make this issue about your child, and the reason for the questions, not about your past, and whether you did the “right”
things. More often than not, your child is seeking some guidance on this issue,and would like to share your experience. Ask them directly about what’s going on, but ask in a way that shows concern, not in a way that accuses them.

This doesn’t have to be a huge dilemma for fathers to face. Being prepared is the best way to turn this process into a learning experience for both sides. Fathers who want to remain “perfect” in their children’s eyes will struggle mightily with this issue. But your kids don’t need perfect fathers. They do need a father who’s willing
to keep growing with them.

So tell them the truth.

Just tell them as little as possible, and tell them when they’re ready.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family
relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE
newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com or email him at mark {at} markbrandenburg(.)com.

Families with Purpose

Telling Your Kids the Truth

One day out of the blue, my daughter asked me if I ever lied to her….this question made me stop whatever I was doing and pause….I had to think, did I ever lie to my kids? Though I couldn’t think of a specific instance in which I lied to my kids, I had to admit there were probably times when I didn’t offer the entire truth or purposely left out important details, but overall I didn’t make a regular practice of lying to my kids. So when the same daughter asked me last week if Santa was real, I suddenly remembered our prior conversation about lying and how I promised her I would always try and tell her the truth. Is telling your second grader that Santa and the Easter Bunny were real actually lying? I bought some time and dodged her question, but couldn’t help but feel like I wasn’t being honest with her. So later that night after her sisters were in bed, I sat down with her and asked her if she wanted to know the truth about Santa. I confessed that Santa was really Mom and Dad and the reason I was telling her was because I wanted her to learn the truth from me, not one of her classmates. I reminded her of my promise about not lying to her and explained to her that I thought it best if she heard the thruth from me. There were a lot of tears and sadness and my heart broke because I knew that an innocence of childhood had just slipped away, but in the end my daughter knew she could trust me to tell her the truth.

Family Time

Weekend Plans - Family Game Night

It’s Friday! What are your family plans for the weekend? If you have a family game night planned then Trivial Pursuit Jr. may be a good choice. Based on the Trivial Pursuit game for adults, the game allows kids from the ages of 8 and up to test their knowledge of trivia and learn some new things too. Similar to the adult version, players earn a scoring wedge for each correct question answered in the corresponding category (Every Day, Fun, Science, Stories & Songs, Nature, Games), but unlike the adult version questions are in the form of multiple choice. The game is designed for 2 - 4 players or can be played in teams. Parents may find the questions a bit too easy for them and so in order to even the playing field may want to make a rule that parents have to answer the questions without the help of the multiple choice answers and limit the number of turns they get after answering a correct question.

Family Activities

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