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Should I Let it Go?
By Polly | April 10, 2006
Well I just had one of those moments of parenthood where I had to decide - “Do I let this go” or “Should I say something”….
It all started this weekend when we were discussing at dinner the news that our nephew (my daughters’ cousin) was going to be a father. We were having dinner with our nephew’s parents and discussing the joyful news of a new baby in the family. As my daughters were sitting there listening and taking it all it, my 9 year old started to ask some questions. When did Mike (her cousin, my nephew) get married?  They aren’t married? But I thought you said they were having a baby? How old is Mike (he’s 22)? As we answered the questions, I looked at my daughter and could just see the wheels turning in her head. She was slowly realizing that you didn’t have to be married to have a baby. Up until now, she had never been exposed to this concept. To her, the process was high school, college, get job, fall in love, get married, and then have children. This was just how it was done. So to have stumbled upon this “new” way of doing things was definitely intriguing!
As I sat there and watched the “wheels turning” I suddenly realized that I, the parent, had to make a decision. Do I say something to her about this or just let it go? By letting it go, I ran the risk of her making some assumptions about life that I wasn’t entirely comfortable with and by saying something I ran the risk of sounding judgemental and uncaring. So what was I to do?
In the end, her father and I realized that this is one of those moments where we had to make sure our daughters understood our values and what we wanted for them and not just assume they already knew. So we sat down with our 9 and 7 year old daughters and talked it through. Letting them know how we felt about a baby without marriage and what we wanted for them while at the same time reassuring them that we loved and supported their cousin and his choice. Did we do the right thing? I think so, but only time will tell. What would you have done?
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Topics: Family Communication |