New Home Organizing Products

We have added a lot of great new home organizing products. All designed to keep busy families organized and on track.

The Kitchen Folio the ultimate paperwork organizer, is available in three great colors. With the Kitchen Folio you will have a place and system for all the papers your kids bring home as well as your own paperwork for work or outside commitments.

The Weekly Family Planner is the latest addition to our magnetic refrigerator calendars. Keep track of your schedule as well as the comings and goings of up to 4 kids with this handy magnetic weekly calendar.

The Life.doc organizer is the ultimate household organizer system. From your legal documents to basic household contact information, Life.doc covers it all.

Our latest themed note pads are sure to be a hit with all busy parents. We have 4 new great styles, the blank grocery shopping list, things to do list, babysitting checklist, and permission slip.

There is a lot of Peace in Having a Plan

What I Think I Know - A monthly tongue in cheek commentary of things I’ve learned (or so I think)….

A few years ago, I was working a corporate job with excellent pay and incredible benefits. The company pretty much gave me everything I requested in terms of flexible work arrangements. I was working a reduced work week, job sharing a full time job, and at times working from home. I had the working mother’s dream of job flexibility. The only thing missing was passion. No matter how hard I tried or how hard the company tried, I just couldn’t get excited about the product they sold. I ended up burned out and emotionally exhausted week after week. I knew I needed more and I knew what could give me that, I just didn’t know how. I was overwhelmed by all the details that needed sorted out, the risks I would have to take, and the sure panic of giving up the financial security of my job.

So I made a plan. I set realistic goals and plans to make my dream happen. I discussed my dreams and goals with my husband and kids and listened to their concerns and advice. We worked out solutions together and worked together to make the dream a reality. The road hasn’t always been easy, there have been mistakes and problems along the way, and we still have some way to go before we can declare success. But what I know for sure is that I couldn’t have made any of it happen without a plan; a plan based on solid family focused goals. And from that plan came tremendous peace. Peace in knowing that I was on the right track, peace in knowing that I wasn’t taking huge risk, and peace in knowing that I was doing something I absolutely loved.

And now three years later, I have a job with work life flexibility and passion. I come to work everyday with enthusiasm, love, and happiness. I absolutely love what I do and have never felt so at peace in my entire life. And it all started with one little family goal….

11 Quick and Easy Things You Can Do Right Now to Organize Your Personal Finances

A family with purpose is a family who controls their lives and who work diligently to prevent their lives from being controlled by outside factors. A family with purpose sets priorities and lives their lives accordingly.

Request your free annual credit report. By law, credit bureaus are required to give everyone a free copy of their credit report every year.

Consider protecting yourself from identity theft by placing a freeze on your credit at all three credit bureaus. Credit freezes prevent anyone from opening an account or taking out a loan without your knowledge by blocking access to your credit report. Don’t do this if you plan on applying for credit or a loan in the near future. There are fees (around $10) every time you place a freeze, request a temporary lift, or cancel. You will need to place the credit freeze with all three credit reporting agencies, Equifax, Experian, and Trans Union, for this to be effective

Get real about how much you owe. Take some time to list all your debts with the amount you owe and the interest rate you are paying on one piece of paper. Make one list sorted from smallest balance to largest balance and another list with highest interest to lowest interest. Next month we will talk about debt reduction strategies to help get rid of some of the debt.

Shred all the bills, credit card bills, and pay stubs from last year keeping the ones that are tax related.

Set up automatic bill payment for your utilities and mortgage. Most utility and mortgage companies allow for people to have their payments automatically deducted from their bank accounts for no fee.

Organize everything you need to keep on top of your home finances in either one central drawer or a basket. Include your checkbook, stamps, envelopes, stapler, monthly budget, etc. Make sure you have everything you need to make paying the bills and updating your budget easier and quicker. Having to constantly get up and down to get something you need wastes time.

If your employer offers it, set up your paycheck to be directly deposited every week into your bank account. If possible, establish an automatic savings plan by having some of your paycheck directly deposited into a savings account.

Consider refinancing your mortgage. The Federal Reserve recently lowered interest rates and it may be to your advantage to shop around for a better rate. The better your credit score the better the rate and more likely the banks will be willing to work with you.

Never miss another bill. Make a list of all your monthly bills and the date each month they are due. Place this in your basket or drawer for quick reference.

Make folders to keep track of your personal finances. Make a folder for each of these categories, Utilities, Bank Statements, Credit Card Bills, Mortgage, Taxes, Paychecks, Retirement Plans, Budget.

Schedule on your family calendar which days you will review your personal finances and pay bills.

Tackling the Yeah But’s

Families with purpose are families who dream together and work together to make their dreams and goals a reality.

For any family goal (or personal goal for that matter) to be successful, families need to take the time to discuss the Yeah But’s; the hurdles of any family goal we don’t know how to overcome, and if we don’t will doom the success of the family goals.

What are Yeah But’s?

Yeah But’s are always the sentences that come at the end of every statement or affirmation of change. I want to spend more time with my kids, BUT my boss requires I work weekends. We want to take a trip to Disney World, BUT it is very expensive and we don’t know how we can afford it. Yeah But’s are always the big sighs we express when contemplating doing something different with our lives or making a hard change.

The Yeah But’s are what stop us from realizing our family goals and are the reasons our family goals fail and the reason we stop setting goals after a while. If you don’t address the Yeah But’s then you never address the real problems and lasting change in any family will never occur.

How to Tackle the Yeah But’s

After setting your family goals, the next step in the process is to focus on identifying and tackling the Yeah But’s.

Similar to the goal setting exercise, gather some paper, pencils, your completed family goal setting chart, and if you are using one a table top flip chart. Be sure to pick a time when distractions will be minimized and when everyone is feeling fresh.

Start by reviewing the family goals you established. If your kids are old enough, let them take the lead with this task. It will give them experience talking in front of people and help develop self confidence.

Next, start by defining for the family what a Yeah But means. Use a simple definition, so that the kids can easily grasp the concept. For example you might start by giving them an example of a Yeah But as it relates to your family goals. Or try saying something like, “Yeah But’s are the hard things we have to understand and solve to make our family goal successful.” Once everyone understands the concept of Yeah But’s it is time to move on to the next step.

Begin with the first family goal on your list and as a family start listing all the Yeah But’s for that goal. If your kids are old enough you can assign the job of listing the Yeah But’s to one of the kids. Some of the Yeah But’s will be simple and take little time to solve and others will be more complex and take longer to address. The key is to just list the Yeah But’s at first and not get buried in discussions of how to solve them. Here is an example of a family goal and some of the Yeah But’s:

Family Goal – All of the kids will get all A’s on all their report cards

Yeah But’s

It is hard to find the time to study everyday

Math is really hard

Mom and Dad don’t have a lot of time to help the kids

It is hard to keep track of all the assignments

After the Yeah Buts are listed, it is time to write down actions to overcome and address each Yeah But. This is where it will get hard for most families because many of the Yeah But’s require sacrifices and the willingness to change. Here are some possible actions to overcome the Yeah But’s in our example:

Actions

Set aside one hour after dinner every night to study. Mom and Dad will turn off the TV and stop all work and chores to just focus on helping the kids with homework. Even if there is no homework everyone must have one hour of quiet reading or studying.

Review our assignments every Sunday with Mom and Dad. Make a study plan for every night of the week.

Ask our high school neighbor to tutor the kids one hour every week in math

Make a cool assignment notebook to keep track of all our studies. Use this every Sunday to review our assignments with Mom and Dad.

In our example, sacrifices and changes are required of all family members. This helps to encourage families to work together and build closeness through the accomplishment of goals.

Following Through

Tackling the Yeah But’s and achieving your family goals will not always be an easy task. It will require dedication from every family member and persistence. Here are some tips to help keep you on track:

Realize there will be setbacks. Not every action will go according to plan and you may have to readjust your strategy if something isn’t working.

Set up time every week to go through all your goals and action plans to check your progress. This will help remind everyone of the reasons behind all the changes and help keep you focused.

Be willing to scale back (not abandon) your goals and action plans if you realize the changes are too much for the kids or yourself. For example, if striving for all A’s is causing a lot of emotional stress on the kid’s, then consider revising the goal to all A’s and B’s. Sacrificing your child’s self confidence for the sake of a goal isn’t worth it. Keep the big picture in mind, but don’t make excuses for giving up.

Good luck!

When is Too Much Too Much?

A family with purpose is a family who acknowledges their problems and who work together for resolutions. They deal with their problems and issues with open communication and with confidence.

I have had several interesting conversations this week regarding the term Helicopter Parents. These conversations got me thinking about my own clients and the fact that, in one way or another, they are all doing too much for their children and that my job as a coach is to encourage them to let go and trust their children.

The term Helicopter Parent is used to describe a parent who interferes too much in their children’s lives and hovers about them, so to speak, planning their next move. This term seems to be used a lot when it refers to college but, from what I see, parents do hover and interfere in many other areas of their children’s lives.

I don’t think we should always look at this term in a negative way; in many ways this interference is an expression of love and caring, however we do need to make sure that we temper what we do for our children. When we do too much we really are not doing them any favors we are not teaching them to stand on their own two feet and preparing them to be independent minded self reliant individuals.

Dr Redmond of Liverpool University says, “Helicopter Parents” are so common among the middle classes that universities now have to produce teams of family liaison officers to deal with them.”
So how can you tell if you may fit into his category and what can you do about it?

In my experience, which appears to be in line with others, there are five key types of Helicopter Parent mode.

The Rescue Helicopter Parenting Mode
This type of parent will swoop in to issue help at a moments notice. At the slightest hint of trouble, they will be there with their first aid kit ready to heal any wound. They will provide money, supplies and support whenever it is required, without question and have often been known to sort out difficult situations that their children find themselves in. Their overriding need is to keep their child out of harms way and hurt and they will do so at their own detriment, often ending up being treated like a slave and feeling like a victim, getting very little back in return. Their children never really learn how to deal with failure or how to get themselves out of tight spots.

This parent needs to realize that they may be doing their child more harm than good. While none of us want to see our children hurt, it is a part of life that sometimes things do not go our way and we end up feeling let down and disappointed; they need to learn this. Sure, sometimes they will need rescuing, but more often than not what they actually need is your support. So, instead of jumping in, ask them what they want to do about the situations and what support, not help, they need from you. See if they can sort it out themselves first.

The Blackhawk Helicopter Parenting Mode
You know when this parent is around - they are loud, nosy and come in with all guns blazing. They are nearly always in battle mode, ready to fight the next injustice that is happening to their child. Their overriding need is to be right and to get what is right for their child. They will often not believe that their child has done anything wrong and will blame others.

This parents need to learn to let their children fight their own battles. It is very important that a child learns to stick up for itself. The parents needs to hand responsibility back to the child and understand that sometimes, what they want may not be the right thing for their child. There is a bigger picture here, about teaching their child about responsibility and social impact. They need to learn that for every action there is a reaction and you may need to learn to control yours. Next time you feel compelled to wade, in ask your child what they want first and then ask them how they want you to help them let them lead the way.

The Surveillance Helicopter Parenting Mode
This parent does not trust their child at all, perhaps because of what has gone on in their past or perhaps because they know what they were capable of as a child. They will interfere and spy on everything the child does, ensuring that it is the right things. Calling them to make sure they are where they shall they will be, mobile phone tagging and internet spies would all be part of this parents arsenal. Some have even been know to spy on their friends on Facebook to make sure they are a good fit for their child. Their children are most likely going to rebel, thinking that if they are not trusted, then they may as well do it anyway.

This parent needs to learn to let go and give a little. How can a child ever show you that they are trustworthy if they do not get the opportunity? Do you want to breed an element of distrust in your relationship with them? Think of one thing right now where you could hand over a little more trust to them, perhaps trust in what they say, without questioning. When our parents believe in us, then we begin to believe in ourselves more.

The Traffic Helicopter Parenting Mode
This parent has seen it, done it and knows what is coming. Whatever their child wants to do, they believe they can see the road ahead, the direction they are heading in and the likely outcome. Therefore, they direct and steer their child down the roads they want them to go. “No, don’t turn this way, go this way - there is far less congestion. I think this career will be better for you as fewer people go into it, so their will be more jobs.”

Often, they take little or no notice of what their children, want speaking for them whenever they feel the need. Fundamentally, this parent wants what is right for the child; they just need to learn to allow their child to follow their own path. Asking themselves whether this is what they want for their child, or is it what the child wants would be a good question. They are level headed and will realize that their guidance may be just a little too much like meddling.

The Private Charter Parenting Mode
This parent treats their child like a business and it can be a little like having Alan Sugar on demand. They will swoop in, making business deals on their teenager’s behalf with or sometimes without, their knowledge. Everything is a deal to them and their teenager is a commodity. They are driven by a need to succeed and have their child do the same. Some have even been known to negotiate pay rises with the child’s boss! They will sometimes even network with influential people to get the best job for their child, calling in all their contacts if need be. There whole sense of achievement is linked into the achievements of their children.

This parent needs to stop doing too much and ask their child for what help they need. If their child mentions a new direction instead of instantly calling in their contacts, they should wait to be asked for help. Let you child know you are there for them, but only when they ask.

I really do think that, as in anything, you are halfway there if you realise you are doing something. So, be honest with yourself — do you or could you sometimes fit into one or more of these categories? If so, how can you ground your helicopter a little and let your child take the controls instead? After all, co-pilot is much better, isn’t it?

Sarah Newton is one of the world’s leading teen coaches. She enjoys a high profile and is one of the only Teen Coaches to have hosted her own eight part TV series ‘My Teen’s a nightmare – I’m Moving Out’. Her first book ” Help! My Teenager is an Alien - the everyday situation guide for parents” was launched in March 2007 by Penguin and rarely drops out of the top ten parenting teenager books. Sarah believes that parents can have great relationships with their teenagers and still get all the boring things done and to this end she offers everyday practical advice. To get Free access to Sarah’s “3 easy proven techniques to instantly reduce stress in your home and dramatically improve the relationship with your teen” go to http://www.sarahnewton.com