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I Have Work To Do
By Polly | April 10, 2008
What I Think I Know - A monthly tongue in cheek commentary of things I’ve learned (or so I think)….
Growing up, my mother set the tone for the entire family. When Mom wasn’t happy, no one was happy. Even if her unhappiness didn’t have anything to do with us kids, it still made us feel bad. We weren’t old enough, mature enough, or self-aware enough to understand that our mother was a real person who had feelings, interests, hopes, and dreams outside of her children, so when she was upset we internalized her unhappiness and often ended up feeling bad and responsible.
Now don’t get me wrong, my mother was a wonderful person and mother. She worked her fingers to the bone to provide all of us kids with college educations, love, support, and strong values. But with all of the pressure she felt to provide for and raise her children she sometimes got unhappy and yes even grumpy. And today, as I am raising my children and I am facing many of the same worries and challenges, I finally understand how one bad day or unhappy moment can affect my kids even when I don’t mean for it to happen.
While writing the article How Will Your Kids Remember You, I decided to find out what my girls thought of me, so I asked them this question: “How would you describe me to a friend or teacher that didn’t know me?” Some of their answers I expected, some of them surprised me, and some of them hurt a little. But what I found really interesting was the one I didn’t hear but expected to hear. Not one of them would describe me as happy….
I guess I have work to do because I really want them to know and remember me as happy.
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Topics: Building Strong Families, What I Think I Know |