Conquering the Chaos Part I – Taking an Inventory of Your Life

With the start of a new school year we thought it fitting to take some time to talk about how to create a family schedule and routine.  Most families start out with good intentions to create a more harmonious family life by vowing to cut back on the running, stress, and general chaos of everyday life, and for a variety of reasons abandon the commitment and plan shortly into the new school year partly out of exhaustion and partly out of an inability to overcome the hiccups along the way. 

With this in mind we are beginning a three part series on Conquering the Chaos.  Over the next three monthly newsletters we will tackle three aspects of creating a sound family schedule – Taking an Inventory of Your Current Family Life, Organizing Your Family Life into Buckets, and Creating a Family Schedule that Works.  By dividing the topic up into three segments we hope families will have a chance to take some time working on each aspect and be ready to move on to the next topic the following month.  So let’s get started!

Taking an Inventory of Your Current Family Life

The secret to any good family schedule is to understand in detail the current situation and being honest about what your family needs and wants to change.  This is the hardest part for many families because it takes the most time and often forces parents and kids to face some of the reasons behind the current craziness of their lives.  Without this step though, you run the risk of not addressing the root causes of your chaotic lives and eventually “fixing” the wrong things. 

Understanding Where You Spend Your Time

Have you ever gotten to the end of a long day and asked yourself, “What did I do all day?”  This happens to many families who have become overwhelmed with the general craziness of life.  Parents know they did something, but their accomplishments and efforts have become overshadowed by the chaos of the day and for the life of them, they can’t remember anything they did throughout the day.  To get a true handle on your schedule and the current state of your family life, you first need to take an inventory of where you spend your time and how long everything takes.  In essence you are doing a mini time study of your family’s habits, schedules, and time so you can better understand where your time goes, the bottlenecks, poor habits, and patterns of your family life. 

To get this step started you will need a copy of the Family Life Time Inventory for both parents, one week of your time, and a little dedication and persistence.  Begin by printing off the family life time inventory for yourself and spouse.  You also may want to print off additional copies to post on your refrigerator or keep in your briefcase or desk at work. 

The time inventory has sections for each day of the week and is further divided by morning, afternoon, and evening sections.   Begin by choosing a week that is fairly typical of your everyday life and then begin making notes each day about the things you do during the morning, afternoon, and evening.  Be sure to keep enough detail so you can actually pinpoint the specific tasks you did as well as how long they took, but not so much detail that it becomes burdensome to keep up.  Also be sure to keep any notes regarding bottlenecks, habits, or patterns you have noticed.  Feel free to expand any notes or thoughts you have on the back of the paper. 

If you work outside the home, it will be your choice as to whether or not to include details on your work activities.  If you just want to keep notes on your family life activities during the day while at work, be sure to have one handy at work.  Some examples of things you may do while at the office are, making doctor’s appointments, picking up birthday presents on your lunch hour, or updating your work calendar with the kids’ activity schedule. 

Understanding the Bottlenecks, Habits, and Patterns

After a week of doing the time inventory you should begin to notice bottlenecks, habits, and patterns to your family life.  For example, are the mornings crazy because too many people are using the bathroom at once?  Is the TV distracting you and the kids in the evening?  Is your toddler having meltdowns every time you try and leave the house?  It is important to understand these because these things are often the culprit of a disruptive family routine and sometimes can easily be changed or fixed with minor tweaks.  So take some time to make notes on these things and experimenting with making some changes.  We will discuss them further in Step III - Creating a Schedule that Works.

Evaluating What You Want to Change and What Works Well

Your last assignment is to sit down as a family and discuss the things you want to change and the things that are working well.  For example, some parents may want to make it possible to get more sleep for themselves and their children.  Another example may be to sit down more often as a family for dinner.  Just as important as noting the things you want to change is making note of the things that are working well.  For example, Friday night family nights may be something that are currently working well and shouldn’t be changed.  Another example may be parents taking time every evening to read to their children.  If it is something you enjoy and something that isn’t causing any current stress to the family then it is probably something you are doing well and shouldn’t be changed.  Use our printable, a notepad, or better yet a table top flip chart (kids LOVE these) to make your notes and document your conversation.  Save everything for use in Parts II and III.

If your kids are old enough it is important to do this step as a family.  Put one of your kids in charge of making the notes and be sure to give everyone a chance to voice their opinions and concerns. 

Good luck!