Four Things We Learned by Slowing Down Our Family Pace

We have done a lot of work these past few years in slowing down the pace and rhythm of our family life.  We haven’t completely gotten our pace to what I would call perfect but it is much better and for the most part much more comfortable and manageable.  And through this slowing down process, there are some things we learned about ourselves and life.  Here are the top four things we learned, there are probably more but these are the most important.

A Slower Pace Means We Spend Less Money

A slower pace for us has meant that we have more time to plan meals, we do a better job of keeping shopping lists, and we stay home more often putting less wear and tear on the car and using less gas.  When our pace was more hectic, I would often shop without a list or menu and would end up buying things we already had or forgetting things we needed.  Also, we have found a lot of enjoyment in staying home and just hanging out playing games (I can’t tell you how many games of Clue we have played), enjoying family movie nights, and taking bike rides.

A Slower Pace Means We Are Less Stressed and Happier

The fast pace I used to keep literally left me exhausted.  By Friday of every week, I was emotionally and physically drained and not much fun to be around.  I literally got tired of being tired and this was a lot of the impetus behind the slowing down of our pace.  I stopped worrying so much about the things we weren’t doing and began concentrating on the things we were doing making sure to emphasize quality over quantity.   Remember, kids want their parents happy, not stressed.

A Slower Pace Means We Are More Connected

By slowing down our pace, we have time to recognize, connect, and appreciate each other more.  Little things that went unnoticed or undone in a hurried pace are now much more apparent in our lives.  From things like hugs, cuddles, and thank you’s, we are definitely more aware and appreciative of each other.  The kids are more likely to come to us with questions and concerns because they know they have our attention.

A Slower Pace Means We Are More Effective

After slowing down our pace, we became much more effective in our lives.  After we stopped trying to do everything, we got a lot better at our schoolwork, our jobs, and our family life because we were less scattered and more focused.  We simply had more time to think, concentrate, and just be.

Happeez Whiteboards and Mail.sorter

We are excited to announce the latest additions to our home organizing product line, Happeez Whiteboards and the Mail.sorter.

The Happeez Whiteboards are made with a revolutionary backing that makes them perfect for stainless steel refrigerators, mirrors, and glass.  The non-sticky backing leaves no residue and lets you use them over and over again.

The Mail.sorter is the latest addition to the Buttoned Up product line.  Perfect for organizing and managing your mail, The Mail.sorter™ comes with four pre-labeled slots for placing incoming mail or school or work correspondence: notice me, respond to me, read me, pay me, and contains a side compartment for catalogs and magazines.

Happeez Clippers

We have just added the Happeez Clippers to our product line.  These stylish sturdy clips are a dual functioning clip to hold and organize all of the paper that busy families seem to accumulate.  Use the clip as a magnetic clip and attach it to any steel surface, or for stainless steel surfaces, mirrors, or glass use the non-sticky adhesive backing.  The clip can be used again and again and leaves no residue!  Each clip measures approximately 2 1/4″ long x 1 1/2″ wide.

All New Memo Mousepads and Weekly Organizer

Perfect for taking notes, keeping track of your schedule, remembering websites, or documenting order numbers, our all new memo mousepads offer the convenience of a mousepad and memo pad too.  Available in three great designs, each 60 sheet memo pad is backed with a 6 3/4″ coordinating foam mousepad.

Also available is our all new weekly organizer.  The weekly organizer helps busy families get organized and stay focused with 80 weekly planner sheets and 240 sticky notes in three great designs.

Living with a Twelve Year Old Environmentalist

What I Think I Know - A tongue in cheek commentary of things I’ve learned (or so I think)….

Stop running the water!  She’s destroying the rain forest!  Can’t this be recycled? 

If you lived in my home you would hear these cries all too often not from me mind you, but rather from Katie, my 12 year old daughter, who over the last couple of years has developed a deep affinity for saving the environment. 

The first born of four girls, Katie is a soulful deep thinker and a classic type-A overachiever.  I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she grew up to be a teacher, activist, or even a Presbyterian minister someday.  I can always count on her to do the right thing and remind me when I am not. 

And over the past couple years as she has worked hard to educate herself about the environment and yell at us (ok, primarily me) about what we (ok this is me too) are doing wrong, I can’t help but wonder if I would have made the changes in my life if it weren’t for her.  I’m not so sure I would have the patience to shred and recycle paper, wipe out reusable sandwich bags, slow the flow of water as I rinse dishes to a painfully slow drizzle, or hunt down water bottles hidden under a couch if it weren’t for her reminding to be a better person.  She makes me conscious of my choices and what these choices are teaching my children.

I am a little embarrassed and at times aggravated that I have to be reminded by my 12 year old daughter to be more environmentally friendly, but I am much more proud than embarrassed.  Proud that she has taken the time to learn her stuff, proud that she has the courage to speak her mind, and proud that she makes me a better person.

Thank you, Katie.

How to Use a Family Mission Statement

My 4 year old always wants to understand the why’s of life.  Why can’t she have another piece of candy?  Why can’t she play outside? Why won’t I be home this evening? Why does she have to clean up her room? Part of this is the normal curiosity of a 4 year old, but when you stop and think about it, what she is really trying to understand is the purpose or reason behind the things going on around her.  A truly noble effort that over the years tired hurried parents often forget under the pressure of looming deadlines, homework assignments, and soccer schedules.  And as parents, if we stopped a little more often and asked ourselves the seemingly obvious question of 4 year olds, “Why are we doing this?,” maybe we would be a little happier, make better choices, and be better parents. 

One of the reasons we encourage families to write family mission statements is because they help us pause and ask this question.  Family mission statements help families remember the purpose behind their choices by forcing us to focus on the things in life that make us happy, fulfilled, and truly want.  The problem with family mission statements though is that often they are hard to enact because we don’t know how to take the wishes and desires of the family mission statement and turn them into real life day to day actions.  A family mission statement without concrete actions behind it is just another piece of paper much like the corporate ones your company has posted on their website and lunchroom bulletin boards, a lot of talk but not much walk. 

So to help families avoid the trap of talking the talk, but not walking the walk, we wanted to spend a little time on specific ways families can use their family mission statement.

The Difference between Family Goals and a Family Mission Statement

Before we dig into how to actually use the family mission statement it might be a good idea to re-cap what we mean by family goals and family mission statements. 

Family goals are written expressions of specific things the family wants to do or achieve.  Family goals are measurable and are time constrained or phased.  Family goals are one of the means by which families live and express their family mission statement.

Family mission statements are expressions of the overall intention, purpose, and priorities of the family.  They help families keep focus not only on the things they want to achieve (i.e. family goals), but the manner in which they want to achieve them, and the benefits or results the family wants to gain.  A family mission statement has three parts, an action, the quality of action, and the benefits.

Ways in Which Families Can Use a Family Mission Statement

Use a Family Mission Statement to Create Meaningful Family Goals

When writing family goals and the specific actions needed to make them happen, families should always be asking themselves, are the goals and our actions to achieve them consistent with how we said we wanted to live our lives (the in such a way that phrase) and do they result in the benefits we said were important (the so that phrase).  When you write your goals in this context you can avoid chasing goals that aren’t adding to your happiness and fulfillment.

Use a Family Mission Statement to Help Make Big Decisions 

Because family mission statements are expressions of our priorities and values, they can help keep us focused when it comes time to making some big decisions.  For example, does taking the big promotion clear across the country in line with what we said we wanted in our mission statement?  Is career progression one of mom’s or dad’s goals, dreams, or aspirations?  If so, will the move and promotion enrich the family life and add to the family’s happiness and closeness?  These are the kinds of questions you should ask whether you are facing a career change, move, or any significant lifestyle change.

Use a Family Mission Statement to Help Regain Focus

Sometimes we are moving so fast in our lives that we often forget why we made the choices we did to get us to our current place.  It is often easy to get caught up in the hectic pace of life and suddenly say to ourselves, why are we doing this?  What was our original motivation?  Why did I take this job?  Why did I volunteer to do this?  This is where a family mission statement can be extremely powerful.  By looking back at the priorities and fundamentals your family identified in the family mission statement, you can better see and ask yourselves whether or not the choices you have been making are consistent with what you said was important. If your choices haven’t been consistent with the family mission statement, ask yourselves these two questions: “Why haven’t our choices been consistent” and “What do we need to change to stop making the choices that make us unhappy?”

Use a Family Mission Statement to Remember Your Passion

Because family mission statements are an expression of every family member’s dreams, goals, and aspirations, they are a great place to go to when we need some motivation or are feeling burnt out.  Take some time to browse through all of your family’s hard work, vision drawings, and plans to help motivate yourself and reignite your passion.

Remember, a family mission statement can be a very powerful tool for any family as long as you use it and keep it a center of your family’s focus.  Post it in a central location and make it a habit to revisit it frequently.

Good luck!