2010 – 8 Weeks to a Frazzle Free Christmas – Week 7

Welcome to Week 7 of our 8 Weeks to a Frazzle Free Christmas.  Only two weeks to go!

Here is our list for this week:

• Finish all of our Christmas gift shopping
• Purchase all of the remaining items off of our Buy list
• Pre-make or pre-bake one item off of our holiday menu
• Begin wrapping presents

Some Things to Think About:

• For the remaining weeks we will be pre-making or pre-baking something off of our Christmas meal list. So today, choose one item off of your Christmas menu that can either be pre-made (i.e. casseroles) or pre-baked (cookies, pies, breads) and then frozen. Either add the ingredients you will need for this menu item to your regular grocery list or attach your Grocery Buy list to your regular grocery list.
• Decide which day this week you will be pre-making or pre-baking your meal item and add it to your calendar.
• Next week we will be finishing our gift shopping, so be sure to have your list updated and ready to go with any last minute adds or notes.
• Finalize any plans, confirm any reservations, print off any maps, and organize any supplies for any of your planned family activities next week.

SAVE 25% on Everything in our Store

To celebrate this holiday season, Families with Purpose is offering you 25% off of your next purchase.  Now through Tuesday, November 30th, you can save 25% on everything in our store, on sale, and in our gift guide.  Just use the coupon code save25-2010 during checkout!  Click here for complete details.

Holidays: Blissfully Busy or Painfully Packed?

This post is reprinted with permission by Bobbie Friedman of Simplified by Bobbie

There’s something to be said about the hustle and bustle of the holidays. But there is a fine line between this time being “blissfully busy” and “painfully packed.” Personally, I’m looking forward to a blissfully busy time this year. However, I can’t say that I’ve always felt that way! So, what changed? Well, the answer is three things really.

1. I’ve realized the power of saying “no”

This amazing little word is a huge helper… especially around the holidays. I always thought that I had to volunteer for everything, host every party, and attend every event. But now, I’ve decided what is MOST important to me, set aside time for it on my calendar, and said NO to everything else!

I’m not saying turn into “Scrooge.” However, I realized it’s much more important to do less and enjoy it more than to try to do it all and miss out on the joy that the activity was supposed to bring. It’s not always easy to say “no” at first… but once you start feeling the difference it makes, it will become much easier. You’ll soon see that this “negative word” can be a positive thing!

2. I plan and prepare much further in advance

Until 2 years ago I was a last minute holiday shopper. Somehow each Christmas Eve would arrive and I’d still have half (or more) of my shopping list to complete! I’d send cards… but they’d arrive after Christmas (oops). I would plan a party, but not make the menu until the day I was going to the grocery store! Talk about stressful… no wonder I dreaded the “painfully packed” holiday season!

Then I stumbled upon the most wonderful plan that has changed how I handle EVERYTHING pertaining to the holidays! It’s the Frazzle Free Christmas guide from www.familieswithpurpose.com. I’ve always been so organized about everything else, but somehow I’d missed out on making a plan when it came to the holidays! Well, this is no longer a problem now that I follow the Frazzle Free Christmas.

It’s amazing what a difference I felt having all of my holiday “to-do’s” laid out for me. This 8-week guide tells me when to start my lists, write-out cards, prepare my menus, and when to start shopping! I actually look forward to this season now that I’m “armed” with the Frazzle Free Christmas (I put the start date on my calendar and grow excited as it gets near)! I’m sure other plans exist on-line… but this has been working like a charm, and as long as it works so nicely I’ll continue using (and loving) it.

3. I’ve adjusted my attitude

Each October I would start to feel the holidays lurking around the corner. Anxiety would set in as I realized ALL of the things that were about to be added to my already crowded to-do list! I would turn “grinch” in an instant and that’s how my attitude would stay as I huffed and puffed and procrastinated my way through the holidays.

Then I decided enough is enough! This is a special time and I was letting silly things get in my way (and stress me out), preventing me from enjoying the meaning of Christmas (and Thanksgiving). I changed the way I looked at the holiday preparations… I made them “want to-do’s” instead of “have to-do’s.” Once I followed steps 1 and 2 above, I simply decided to enjoy everything that I CHOSE to include on my to-do list and calendar.

I made the little things fun… for example instead of buying pre-made invitations for our holiday party I thought it would be fun to make them. Holiday Invitations in the MakingThis became a family craft project of painting, stenciling, and stamping. It took more time, but we put love into each invitation and enjoyed making them together.

I also started thinking less about the “stuff” that we could give to family and friends, and focused on giving memories. What was once a list of knick-knacks and home-goods has now become gift cards for family outings and fun experiences to be shared together.

These 3 easy things have Simplified my holidays and I hope that they’ll do the same for yours!

Bobbie Friedman is a Professional Organizer, Home Management Consultant, wife, and mother. She provides clients with a personalized organizing experience, hands-on help, and knowledgeable guidance. To contact Bobbie and find out more about her services, visit her at www.simplifiedbybobbie.com.

Taking Care of You During the Holidays

By Jennifer Ascher of Organizing without Limits

Ahhh, the holidays …. You shop, wrap, decorate, bake, cook, the list goes on and on.   As all of us moms know we tend to take care of everybody and everything. But let’s be real we often forget about taking care of ourselves especially this time of the year with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. With the business that is now upon us it is more important than ever to take care of ourselves during this time. Here are some ways you can do just that.

• Keep expectations manageable. Set realistic goals and pace your self. Make a list and prioritize your tasks.
• Learn to say NO! Don’t make someone else’s emergency and crisis your own. Don’t get stuck as the official problem solver for everybody.
• Delegate: Don’t try to do it all yourself. Enlist the help of your family and friends with the holiday preparations.
• Use your calendar wisely. Besides the holiday parties, make sure to pencil in shopping and prep days.
• On that same calendar block off down time to give your self a break. Schedule activities that are relaxing for you. Perhaps going for a drive for a change of scenery, getting a manicure or pedicure, reading a book. The important thing is that you take the time for yourself and choose something that will make you feel renewed and refreshed.
• Focus on what brings you joy and leave the rest. Accept the fact that you don’t need to do everything perfectly.

Whatever craziness the season may bring, remember you and your family will enjoy the holiday season a lot more if you are not spending it pulling your hair out.

Jennifer Ascher(better known as an Organizing Geek) is a professional organizer and the owner of Organizing Without Limits in  Oakland County, MI. She began this business because of her  passion for organizing and helping others. Being a busy mom and business owner, Jennifer understands the importance of getting and staying organized.  You can reach Jennifer at http://www.organizingwithoutlimits.com or at http://organizingwithoutlimits.typepad.com. You can also find her on twitter @Organizing_Geek or on Facebook.

The Benefits of Nagging

By Susan Heid of The Confident Mom

We all do it….. or at least started out our mothering journey nagging and reminding our kids, we figured it was something we had to do.  I know, I did the same thing.  Asking my kids if they brushed their teeth for the third time, reminding them for the fifth time to take out the trash or telling them to buckle their seatbelt.  It all seems to go in one ear and out the other.

So why do we do it?

We know that it doesn’t really solve the issue we are trying to address, but we do it anyway.  We get into patterns of behavior, negative patterns that seem to be endless.    We have no other idea how to help the situation, so we just continue – even though it is not working.  Why do we continue to do things the same way over and over again hoping that we will get a different result?  I ask this question of the moms I work with a lot, and it stops them dead in their tracks!

I thought I would take a look at what we are enforcing when we nag and remind our kids like we do everyday.  There are benefits of nagging, but I am not sure you will like these benefits.

1. You teach you child to NOT listen the first time.

Just think about this for a minute……if every morning you remind little Johnny to brush his teeth five times before he actually does it, why on earth should he listen to you the first time?  As Hal Runkel states in his book, “ScreamFree Parenting” – “Think  about what your relationship would be like with your child if they knew for an absolute ironclad fact that you never gave two warnings?  Ever.”  I love this quote, and yes, it is referring here to giving warnings, but you can consider it the same question with regard to nagging and reminding.  Imagine what it would look like if your child knew that you only made a request of them ONE time.  How would that change what happens in your home every morning?

2. Does she mean it this time?

This goes in conjunction with the previous point, if you will be telling your child multiple times to do something, then how will they know when you really mean it?  If you have conditioned your child to not act until a third or fourth request, what happens when you ask them to do something that is critical for them to act on when you request, like – “Get out of the way,” or “Get out of the street,” or even “Don’t touch the burner.”  All of these are ways you try to protect your child and if they are conditioned to NOT listen to you the first time, you could have a fairly serious situation on your hands.

3. Perfectly said by Dr. Kevin Lehman

“If you want your child to take you seriously, say your words once.  Only  once.  If you say it more than once, you’re implying, “I think you’re so stupid that you’re not going to get it the first time, so let me tell you again.”

How true.  When we choose to repeat ourselves we are reinforcing just the complete opposite of what we are trying to develop.  We all want self-directed children, but if we continually repeat and nag our children they never have the opportunity to develop habits that will take them into adulthood.  When you empower your children by allowing them to complete a task with only one request you will see tremendous pride.  This is where true motivation comes from – I honestly feel we undervalue what our kids can actually accomplish.  We end up holding them back and keeping them from success in many areas because we don’t think they can do it.

4. You get to be your child’s life long partner

Now we all love our kids, but I am talking about your child needing you to be right beside them in order to make it through the day.  If they haven’t been given the opportunity to learn personal care habits, for example,  without you nagging them all morning, what happens as they get older and soon leave your house.  This may seem far fetch, but at what point does the nagging end?  When do you decide enough is enough?  The sooner you can allow your child to deal with the results of their poor choices, the sooner they will develop the skills you desire to create in your child.

No one likes to repeat themselves over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.   You get the picture.  It is a waste of your time but it certainly could be doing a lot more damage than you really had given thought to.  I challenge you to pick one are this week and choose to not engage in the nagging with your child.  You could even perhaps sit him/them down and give them Dr. Lehman’s quote (As I did one afternoon) and let them know you haven’t been doing them much good always reminding and from now on you would be trying really hard to only say things once.  You will need to be prepared to be consistent and really be in touch with your own emotions (a key principle in ScreamFree Parenting and what we focus a lot on in the Online Coaching Program I offer).

Choosing to realize the part you may be playing in the pattern of behavior may very well get you 50% of the way to the solution.  I would love to hear your thoughts and also invite you to a FREE call on November 18^th at 10 AM PST (1 PM EST) to “Become a Cool, Calm and Confident Mom.”  I will be offering more real tips on how you can create cooperation in your home and be the mom your kids need you to be!

Susan Heid loves inspiring Christian moms to make small changes managing their home and family life giving them more time, order and less stress! As a Certified Parent Coach and Family Manager Coach she enjoys sharing her expertise with moms through workshops, teleseminars, public speaking, and individual and group coaching.  She is a proud mom, step-mom and foster mom to 3, married to her very own prince charming, loves coffee, cloudy days, and does think the “bluest skies you’ve ever seen are in Seattle.”  Make sure you get a copy of her FREE ebook, “Getting Kids to Cooperate and Become Team Players.”

Changing Thanksgiving Traditions

Laura Rolands of My Attention Coach

Sometimes holiday traditions need to be supplemented or updated to become more current.  At our house, the Thanksgiving Day Detroit Lions game has long been a family tradition.  Whether watching the game in person or on television, the games have been disappointing in recent years.  We even witnessed the end of the 0-16 Lions season a couple years ago.  I am assuming you can understand the need to focus on something besides the Lions on Thanksgiving Day!  Now some in our house are going to watch the game regardless of the season.

Last year we found a better alternative that gets more of our extended family into the game and makes a difference in our community.  Coalition on Temporary Shelter (http://www.cotsdetroit.org/), a local homeless shelter partners with The Majestic (http://www.majesticdetroit.com/), a local theater and restaurant, to offer a breakfast buffet and Thanksgiving Day Parade watching from the very beginning of the parade.  Last year we went with our kids and some of our extended family.  It was an amazing morning with many memories for kids and adults alike!  When we asked the kids if they want to see the parade again this year, everyone responded with great enthusiasm!  This year, we are adding more to the group and even including a sleepover!  I just love how this event has already become a tradition and looks like it will grow over time.

If your traditions are getting old, take some time and plan a new tradition for your family.  Here are a few thought starters….

• Of course, check out the Families With Purpose resources at http://family-life.familieswithpurpose.com/category/family-time/thanksgiving-traditions/.  You will find some fun ideas.
• Talk with your kids.  What do they want to do on Thanksgiving Day?
• What are some things you did when you were younger?  How can you recreate them for this year?
• Break into teams and go on a scavenger hunt.
• Build a bon fire if local fire codes allow it and have s’mores.  A great way to make summer memories during the cold weather if you live in colder areas!

No matter what you decide, you will invigorate your family by trying something new.  Remember to take a break from the kitchen and make time to enjoy your family.  Let us know your new traditions to share with others!  Enjoy!

Laura Rolands is the founder of LSR Coaching and Consulting, LLC. She is a coach whose passion is to support, lead and inspire independence and success for people who have either been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD or who are facing other attention-related challenges. Her clients include individuals with attention-related challenges and/or their parents. If you have any questions or more suggestions to add, please visit her website at www.MyAttentionCoach.com.

2010 – Week 5 of 8 Weeks to a Frazzle Free Christmas

Welcome to Week 5. We are half way done! This week we continue with Christmas cards, pre-making meals, and purchasing things off our Buy List.  We also begin our Christmas shopping and outside decorating.

And in because we begin gift shopping this week, we have decided to pull ahead our 25% off discount. Typically, this offer is only available the weekend after Thanksgiving, but to help make things easier and help you save money, we have decided to pull it ahead this year. All you need to do is use the coupon code frazzlefree during checkout. The 25% offer will expire on 11/28/2010.  The discount is available on everything in our store.  You can use our Gift Guide to help you find the perfect gift.

Here is our list for this week: Read more

2010 – Week 4 of 8 Weeks to a Frazzle Free Christmas

Welcome to Week 4 of 8 Weeks to a Frazzle Free Christmas.  Here are the things you want to get done this week.

1. Pre-make or pre-bake one item off of your Christmas menu
2. Finalize your Gift List
3. Begin signing and addressing Christmas cards
4. Write a family letter (if you include one)
5. Schedule your shopping days
6. Start thinking about and researching Christmas outfits for the family (if you haven’t already got this done).
7. Start purchasing things off of your Buy List

Trusting Your Own Wisdom

By Sandra Huber of the The Soulful Parent

I remember being a first time mom, devouring everything in sight on parenting, breastfeeding, sleeping habits, reading Dr Sears, Dr. Borba and the like. I would read anything anyone recommended, subscribed to on-line newsletters, attended local mommy groups, listened to CD’s and felt guilty about the CD’s I didn’t listen to.

After a while I realized my biggest fear: I was over-read and “under-done”. And like me, many moms I knew felt overwhelmed and sometimes even paralyzed by the amount of information and opinions available out there!

So many moms I work with are under a great deal of pressure to “perform” and so many more feel judged about how they perform the job they want most to succeed at: raising their kids. I have yet to meet a mom who doesn’t want her child to grow to be a caring, loving, successful, compassionate adult!  And we want to do it “right”, whatever that means for each of us. We recognize the responsibility we took on when we decided to answer the call to raise children. With that responsibility also comes the constant questioning of our choices and the fear that somehow we are scarring our children for life.

I have been there; I have wondered if I am doing right by my daughter.   I have wondered if the decisions I have made on her behalf are the right ones.   And when things don’t work out right, you bet I stop and think about the responsibility that I hold. And boy, raising kids of any age is a challenging task! There are some days when you wonder if you AND your child will make to the next decade!

But there’s an option: I like to call it, Soulful parenting, parenting from your values and priorities and recognizing your limitations as much as your strengths. Soulful parenting means actually messing around with your long held beliefs that you are not good enough to be a great parent. Soulful parenting calls for a pursuit of freedom which doesn’t come free: it can be intense, exhausting and disruptive.

Soulful parenting, as I and many moms I work with have experienced it, requires that we stop telling the tale of inadequacy, ignorance and unworthiness. Life has equipped us with an internal compass designed to guide us through the toughest times. You can trust your instincts!

Trusting your inner wisdom requires that we look inside and soothe and calm those places that keep telling us lies and how we are not enough or know enough to be trusted to our devices. We can break the cycle here and empower ourselves to be the moms we are meant to be.

If you find the courage to live from this place, resisting the temptation to believe again what the media “out there”, and society “out there” may be telling you about your skills and value, you can choose to stand with confidence, resilience and grace.

I wanted to share with you a very powerful quote I found by Nathanial Brandon: If my aim is to prove I am “enough” the project goes on to infinity because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable”

Remember: You are the best expert on your child. Honor that!

Sandra is the “soul” and “coach” behind the Soulful Parent. She has worked in Early Intervention, Special Education and has supported many families in the road to successful parenting. She became a PCI Certified Parent Coach® because she’s deeply passionate about changing the world, one family at a time. Sandra believes that life becomes a more enjoyable journey when you lead from your strengths! She can be contacted Sandra {at} thesoulfulparent(.)com and www.thesoulfulparent.com for more information about seminars, presentations and individual coaching services.

Thanksgiving Fun on a Shoestring

By Beth Engelman and Jenna Riggs of Mommy on a Shoestring

Celebrate the spirit of Thanksgiving with these family friendly crafts and activities.

Story Bracelets

Teach your kids the story of the first Thanksgiving with this memorable craft.  Your kids will love having a special bracelet for their Thanksgiving feast and you will love knowing they learned a bit of American History in the process.  Thank you to Jennifer W and her blog, Ramblings of a Crazy Woman, for inspiring this activity.

You will need:

Colored Beads

Pipe Cleaners

Directions:

Have your children string their bracelets according to the story of Thanksgiving.

• String 1 bead (any color) to represent the Pilgrims leaving England.
• String 1 white bead to represent the white sails on the Mayflower.
• String 3 blue beads to represent the long trip over the ocean.
• Add 1 green bead to show when the Pilgrims saw land.
• The Pilgrim’s first winter was long and snowy, so add 3 white beads to represent winter.
• String 1 green bead for the arrival of spring.
• String 1 yellow bead to represent the warmth of the sun.
• Add one bead (any color) to represent the Native Americans who helped the Pilgrims.
• Add 4 beads to represent the food the Pilgrims and Native Americans enjoyed together on Thanksgiving which includes:
  • 1 red bead for cranberries.
  • 1 yellow bead for corn.
  • 1 brown bead for turkey.
  • 1 orange bead for pumpkin.
• Once the beading is complete, twist the ends of the pipe cleaner together to make a bracelet.

Thankful Tree

Create a family heirloom with this charming craft idea.

You will need:

Small tree branch (cleaned and dried)

Vase

Paper (cut into leaf shapes)

Markers and / or crayons

Hole-punch

Ribbon

Directions:

• Place tree branch in vase.  If necessary, use stones or acorns to anchor the branch in place.
• Ask each guest to write or draw one thing for which they are grateful. On the other side of the paper, have them draw a self-portrait and write their name and age.
• Punch a hole at the top of each leaf and hang them on your “tree” with ribbon.
• When the holiday is over, keep your leaves in a secure spot so you can hang them on your tree next year, being sure to add “new” leaves as well.  In years to come your tree will be full of leaves as well as reminders of holidays past.

A is for Apple, U is for Unscramble Place-Cards

If you or your children love puzzles, this clever DIY place-card craft is for you.

You need:

Apples and/or pears

Colored cardstock or index cards

Markers

Sharp knife

Directions:

• Make the name-card holder by making a slit at the top of each piece of fruit.
• Make the name-cards by writing the scramble letters of each guest’s name on a small piece of card stock.
• Place the scrambled name-cards in the fruit holders right before the guests come to the table to ensure the paper doesn’t get too soggy.
• When your guests arrive at the table, ask them to unscramble each name to find their seat.

Family Games

If you are in search of an icebreaker, or need an activity the whole family can enjoy, try one of these Thanksgiving games that come courtesy of Mary Giles, Executive Editor of Disney FamilyFun magazine.

Chopstick Pass:

This game keeps restless kids engaged and entertained between courses.

Object: To pass a set of items (almond, acorn, cranberry, and pea) around the table using chopsticks (or a small spoon) without dropping them.

You Need:

Chopsticks or spoons

Almond

Acorn

Cranberry

Pea

Small plate

Directions:

• Each player gets either a set of chopsticks or a small spoon (perfect for younger players).
• Place the almond, acorn, cranberry, and pea on a small plate.
• Place the plate next to the oldest player who will begin the game by passing each item to the person on his right, who will receive it with chopsticks and pass it along to the next player. The game continues until all the items have been passed around the table.

Turkey Egg Hunt

Object: To find the hidden turkey egg using the following clues:

“Gobble, gobble” = you’re getting closer to the egg.

“Giblet, giblet” = you’re moving away from the egg.

You Need:

One hard-boiled egg

Directions:

• Chose one player to leave the room while the “turkey” egg is hidden.
• When the player returns, the others will call out “gobble, gobble” or “giblet, giblet,” to help the seeker find the egg. Once the egg is found, a new seeker is named, and the game repeats.

Jenna Riggs and Beth Engelman are the creative talents and owners of Mommy on a Shoestring, a website and weekly radio show chock full of ideas on how families can live creatively and large on a small budget.

Next Page »