Setting Family Priorities

Laura Rolands of My Attention Coach

What are your priorities for 2011? There are so many areas for us to direct our attention, especially as we are still in January. This is still the time of resolutions without a doubt. I would like to share a few ideas with you for setting family priorities and invite you to add your own.

Schedule Time

Schedule time with your spouse and/or kids to talk about family priorities. Go ahead, put it on your family calendar… Okay, back from putting it on the calendar? Good work! Without this important topic of family priorities on the calendar, it is likely that we will forget to discuss it. Talk about what is important to you and your spouse for yourselves and your other family members.

Input from Kids

When you are setting priorities for your family, input from the kids is important. Yes, the parents have the final vote, but your kids may surprise you with some inspirational priorities. Be sure to incorporate their wisdom into your final priorities.

Themes

I have heard this idea from many people this year and thought it would be great to share here. Think of a theme for your family this year to help you focus on your priorities. For example, if you want to increase the priority of saving money, you might make the theme something like, “Saving Today for Tomorrow’s Education” to help everyone see the end goal of education. If you want to put priority on giving to others, you could choose a theme like, “Giving is Good for the Heart”. Do you already have a theme for your family?

Important or Urgent?

As you think through your priorities, make a decision if something is important, urgent or both. Use this information to help you and your family prioritize.

Share

Talk about your family priorities with your friends to help gather ideas for family priorities. Remember, this is not a competition, just an opportunity to share and collaborate. In our family, our priority is on spending time with extended family. We are planning a trip to a family wedding and planning a week’s vacation with my husband’s entire family. Share your priorities here to help inspire others!

Laura Rolands is the founder of LSR Coaching and Consulting, LLC. She is a coach whose passion is to support, lead and inspire independence and success for people who have either been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD or who are facing other attention-related challenges. Her clients include individuals with attention-related challenges and/or their parents. If you have any questions or more suggestions to add, please visit her website at www.MyAttentionCoach.com.

Successful Household Management in 2011

By Susan Heid of The Confident Mom

One of the biggest areas that moms struggle with is managing our homes.  Overwhelmed with responsibilities it can seem like you never get caught up, no one ever will help out and you get to the end of the day feeling like you managed to accomplish nothing!

It is hard to try new routines or systems to get yourself out of the rut – but if you don’t, NOTHING will ever change.

When overwhelmed moms come to me, they generally are at their wits end!  They have tried many different approaches to managing their homes and families and are desperate.  We work from the ground up; putting routines and systems in place that lessen the load and start freeing up time during their frantic and overloaded schedules.

It is amazing that as soon as minor changes are made in the home a mom begins to feel relief.  Instead of the stress and chaos they were feeling everyday, they begin to experience order, freedom and control.

If home management is a struggle for you, I would like to share with you a few key principles I discuss with moms who come to me for coaching.   I am sure these points will be helpful in coming up with some new ideas to tweak what is going on to make things run smoother for you too!

Manage Your Time and Resources

Time is valuable and one of your best resources!  There is only so much ‘time’ in a day, are you using is wisely? Evaluate how you are spending your time and on what.

Can you break larger jobs into smaller ones in order to make more effective use of your time?

Do you have routines in place that help your children know what is coming next so you do not have to follow them around like a drill sergeant?

Are you wasting time on things that are not productive?

Jot down what you do in a day and then evaluate it; is there room for improvement, can you make changes?

I recently discovered how productive I could be if I just was intentional and aware.  We took placement of a 13 month old foster child (that’s a whole other blog post!!).  But I had my home running smoothly with much older kids, 18,14, and 10 – and had LOTS of time during the day.  I could spend hours on tasks that should have only taken minutes.  So in pops this little one and I had to quickly adjust my time and tasks around his schedule.

I began breaking much larger tasks into smaller pieces and this simple tweak has changed everything.  I also discovered a great resource, The Motivated Moms Chore Chart, which is broken down week by week, with daily household tasks to complete and LOTS of boxes to check off.  I love checking off things – it gives me a sense of accomplishment.

I was a fairly organized person and my house was in order before – but now I truly feel like I have control of the situation and even have had time to spare!

Create SOP’s (Standard Operating Procedures)

By establishing Standard Operating Procedures, AKA systems and routines in your home you will end up wasting a lot less time reminding members of the family to do things and trying to invent the wheel everyday!  You also stop wasting time wondering when things are going to get done because you already know – it is part of your routine.

My kids know that at 5:00 PM their chores need to be done.  There is no explaining this everyday and having some battle because they didn’t “know”.

Certain days of the week are ‘their’ laundry days, everyone knows this.  I don’t need to be running around gathering clothes, or reminding everyone – they know it and get their clothes to me if they want me to do them.

There are so many areas you can set up systems and routines in order to make things run smoother, take a look at your weekly schedule and see where there is room to make some changes.  Ask your family’s input – they might surprise you with some suggestions too.

Meal Planning

If you are not meal planning you are missing one of the easiest and most rewarding things you can do for you and your family!  Whether you use a service, such as Emealz to do it for you, or sit down and gather recipes and create a grocery shopping list yourself – the amount of time you invest in this task returns itself three-fold!  Seriously!

How much time do you waste figuring out each day around 3 PM what’s for dinner?

Do you have all the ingredients or are you frantically gathering all the kids together to run to the store for those two items you need?  This just creates unneeded stress – so invest a little time on a Sunday evening (or another evening that works in your schedule) and get a plan.  Then either keep a well stocked pantry, or plan a trip to the store Monday morning to get your entire week’s groceries so you won’t be running out for last minute essentials.

Not only will this system save you time it will save you money as well.  You won’t be buying unnecessary items – which is always a good thing.

If home management is an area you struggle with, pick one of these topics and give it 3 weeks.  Really be intentional about your choice and see what a difference it can make in your home.  Often times it is the small changes that end up making big changes, it is worth the energy and focus to forge ahead!

When you have an organized and smooth flowing home routine it benefits you but really blesses your family!

Susan Heid loves inspiring Christian moms to make small changes managing their home and family life giving them more time, order and less stress! As a Certified Parent Coach and Family Manager Coach she enjoys sharing her expertise with moms through workshops, teleseminars, public speaking, and individual and group coaching.  She is a proud mom, step-mom and foster mom to 3, married to her very own prince charming, loves coffee, cloudy days, and does think the “bluest skies you’ve ever seen are in Seattle.”  Make sure you get a copy of her FREE ebook, “Getting Kids to Cooperate and Become Team Players.”

Create a Winter Wonderland in Your Own Backyard

By Beth Engelman and Jenna Riggs of Mommy on a Shoestring

Don’t let the chilly weather stop you and your kids from having fun outside with these “cool” crafts and activities.

Play Ice Cube Hide and Seek

A twist on the classic game, this activity is fun to play after a big snowfall.  Prepare the ice cubes by mixing water and a few drops of food coloring in an ice tray or muffin tin and placing them in the freezer (or outdoors) until frozen.  To play the game, choose one player to be the “hider” while the others will be seekers. The “hider” buries the colorful cubes in mounds of snow around the backyard.  Then its up to the “seekers” to dig around the snow and find the frozen ice cubes. The player who finds the most ice cubes, gets to be the “hider” during the next go round.

Make Ice Sculptures

Sharp tools and ice picks are not necessary with this creative activity.  To get started, gather an assortment of containers around the house.  To add variety, choose containers that are different shapes and sizes such as muffin tins, jell-o molds and cake pans.  Add water and a few drops of food coloring to each container and place in a freezer (or outside) until the blocks of ice are frozen solid. Remove each block from its container.  If this proves to be difficult, try thawing the ice for a few minutes or submerge the bottom of the pan in a bowl of warm water.  Once the blocks are removed, it’s time to build outdoors. Encourage your cold weather sculptors and construction workers to make decorative statues, enchanted ice castles, skyscrapers or ice forts.  Use salt or layers of slushy snow as “glue” to make the blocks stick together.  Best of all, when your kids are all done playing with their blocks, they can leave them as is and let Mother Nature take care of the clean up.

Paint the Snow Red (and Yellow, Green and Blue)

This craft is a dream come true for my four-year-old son who loves to spray water at anything and everything.  Fill up empty spray bottles with water and a few drops of food coloring. The children can then take the spray bottles outside and spray the snow different colors creating a colorful mosaic, rainbow, or their very own abstract painting.  Just imagine what passerby’s will think when they see your rainbow colored yard.

Make Snow and Ice Cream

This recipe should only be made with freshly fallen snow.  I recommend setting a large bowl outside so you and your kids can collect the snow before it even hits the ground.

Ingredients

3 cups of fresh snow
1-cup milk
¼ cup sugar
1 tsp of vanilla

Directions

Mix ingredients and serve immediately.

Jenna Riggs and Beth Engelman are the creative talents and owners of Mommy on a Shoestring, a website and weekly radio show chock full of ideas on how families can live creatively and large on a small budget.

Setting Family Goals and Intentions for a Successful 2011

By Sandra Huber of the The Soulful Parent

Can you believe we have started a new decade with New Year 2011?  After the activity of the holidays, the pace has slowed down a bit and the weather is colder. And this time of the year is by far my favorite.  I love it because I believe there’s a great opportunity to start over and decide what things we want to let go with the passing of the old year and what new things we want to hold as our intentions for the New Year.   So many people are focused on their New Year Resolutions right now that you can’t help but feel the excitement of a new opportunity to start over.  My hope for all of us is that we decide that this is the year when we are going to start intentionally practicing the tools that will ultimately give us the results that we want.

Here are some suggestions to make this time of the year and intention setting work for you:

Let Go of the Wrongs

Ask everyone in your family to take some time and write down anything they feel went “wrong” in the previous year.  Nobody has to read it out loud; this is not for the purpose of venting or blaming anyone!  Once everyone’s pieces of paper are gathered, decide on a place where you can safely burn them, a fireplace, a barbeque grill or even just a spot on the backyard.  Even though I always focus on family strength, this exercise helps everyone symbolically let go of what didn’t work and have the opportunity for a fresh, new beginning!

Write Down Your Goals

Asking everyone to write down their goals for the new year is a great opportunity to have everyone’s opinions, hopes and dreams gathered in one place, where each family member can create his own list of goals for the family. Everyone can get together, compare goals and decide what to work on. Be open and listen carefully to what every member of the family has to share from their own lists.

Make a Plan

Now is time to turn these intentions into goals for the family to work on. For example if your spouse wants to see the house more organized and clean, then the goal is “Organization and Cleanliness”, which then would require a system that assigns family members with age/time appropriate tasks to accomplish this goal. Get as specific as necessary to make sure everyone is clear about their respective duties and expectations and you will save a lot of arguing later.  Once the list is put together, have everyone in the family “sign” the agreement. Type it up and print it in nice color paper and put it up on a visible spot in the house (the refrigerator door is a good place!) and “voila”, you have a plan!

Make Them Realistic

Set a realistic time frame.   Following the previous example of organizing and cleaning, it would not be encouraging to expect the entire house to be clean in a week. Setting a date for when you want to expect to have your goals accomplished is important. At home, I like to put reminders around the house to keep my family motivated.   I put the date when the task needs to be completed and some encouraging words (I know you can do this!!) to motivate all of us to keep going!

Revisit The Goals

As the “enthusiasm” wears out in the months to come and we get busy with the business of life keep in mind that you are only human.  Revisit your goals to make sure you have not set the bar unrealistically high and set goals and intentions that are impossible to reach.  This is a great opportunity to teach our kids (and ourselves) the value of discipline and perseverance but also flexibility. Sometimes you need to revisit your goals with your family. It’s important to be aware that sometimes, things don’t go the way we want them to.  But you already know that. You are a mom!

Sandra is the “soul” and “coach” behind the Soulful Parent. She has worked in Early Intervention, Special Education and has supported many families in the road to successful parenting. She became a PCI Certified Parent Coach® because she’s deeply passionate about changing the world, one family at a time. Sandra believes that life becomes a more enjoyable journey when you lead from your strengths! She can be contacted Sandra {at} thesoulfulparent(.)com and www.thesoulfulparent.com for more information about seminars, presentations and individual coaching services.