Stress-Free Christmas Shopping

By Melanie Moore of Only a Breath

For many people, Christmas begins as a time of joy and celebration, but becomes quite stressful when faced with a never-ending Christmas shopping list. Does Christmas shopping have to be stressful? Should we just accept that stress is just as much a party of the holidays as mistletoe and Christmas trees? No, I hope not!

I’ve gathered some tips to make your Christmas shopping as stress-free as possible. Try them today, and please add your helpful tips to the list below! We all need a little backup during this time of “mall madness”!

• Start Early — It is not too early to start planning and buying gifts! If you start early, the rest of the holiday season will be stress-free, and you can stay far away from the mall madness.
• Make a List — Write down all of the people you need to buy for, any size information you have, and an approximate budget for each gift. If you have a gift in mind, go ahead and jot that down too. It is much easier to plan ahead, in the peace and quiet of home, rather than shopping “off the cuff” in a chaotic, crowded store.
• Keep the List Simple — In the economic times we live in, so many people are realizing that the best Christmas gifts are the ones that are meaningful and from the heart. You don’t have to spend beyond your budget to purchase lavish gifts. Instead, consider any home-made items you could give — like photo books, recipe binders, or even food!
• Think Outside the “Box” — Gift baskets can be a huge hit, and a surprising savings if you make them yourself. Try to think of a hobby or pleasure that your loved one would enjoy, and make a homemade gift basket. For example, make a “movie night” basket filled with popcorn and video rental vouchers. You could also make a basket filled with gourmet coffee, a journal, and a couple pretty mugs for those who enjoy quiet time at home. These gifts show such thought and are always a big hit!
• Skip the Malls — Rather than face the holiday crowd, consider doing your Christmas shopping online! Many online stores offer free shipping during the holidays or exclusive discounts. Also, be sure to “google” for “coupon codes” for any store you purchase from online! I almost always find additional coupons online that can save lots of money!
• Keep Your Perspective — Yes, Christmas shopping can be overwhelming, and the Christmas spirit tends to take a leave of absence when surrounded by impatient, cranky shoppers. However, you don’t have to join in! Be determined to keep a thankful heart for each person on your Christmas list. Keep in mind that we never know what each day may hold, and consider the real gifts you treasure…. the friends and family on your shopping list.

How do you keep Christmas shopping stress-free?  I hope your Christmas season is a wonderful one, and I wish you all the best in the upcoming new year!

Melanie writes at “Only A Breath” about life as a small-town, southern, girly-girl mommy of two rough and rowdy little boys. She is so thankful for a wonderful, hard-working husband who makes her laugh and is a wonderful daddy. She works full-time as an industrial software developer (“computer geek”), is a consultant with Blessings Unlimited, and offers practical tips and encouragement for moms who work outside the home. Her heart’s desire is to encourage others to celebrate life and cherish each breath of this journey.

4 Ways to Maintain Your Calm During the Holidays

Laura Rolands of My Attention Coach

The end of the year is such a joyful time for most families, but it can be difficult to maintain calm for yourself and your family.  I would like to share 4 of my favorite ways for you to maintain your calm this holiday season.

Plan

Even if you haven’t started working on your Frazzle Free Christmas, it isn’t too late to print the ebook here at Families with Purpose.  I started a little late with my planning this year, and the ebook is still extremely useful to ensure that I do not miss any steps.  Make an individualized plan for yourself to ensure that you know how and when to accomplish your priorities.

Take time for yourself

There are many expectations this time of year.  To offset this challenge, remember to take time for yourself.  For me, this means an annual shopping day with my girlfriends and an evening out to exchange gifts with them.  It would be easy to delay this or cancel it, but we all hold it pretty sacred.  Time with my friends is a great way to recharge and keep up my energy.  This will be very individual so I encourage you to take some time and pick something that you will do to take time for yourself this holiday season.  Even if only for a couple hours – make it memorable!

Manage the “shoulds”

While taking time for yourself, think about managing the “shoulds” in your life.  Do you feel like you should make those cookies from scratch or make something different for every holiday event?  The list can be endless, but I hope you see what I mean with these examples.  My tip here is to find an easier way or to find a way to say no.  Use some ready made cookies or purchase some from a bake sale.  When planing menus, use the same dishes for multiple events and you will get The menu is basically the same and I figure my immediate family will appreciate the continuous improvement in the dishes!

Raise Awareness Regarding Challenges

As an ADHD Coach, I encourage families to raise awareness among their extended family and friends if ADHD will present a challenge for their children at the holidays.  If those close to you are open to learning, it can be a great opportunity to educate them and enlist their help.  Whatever the challenges are that you face in your household, it may be beneficial to raise awareness so others have a better understanding and to make contingency plans.  For example, if your child gets over excited when opening gifts, think about a way to maintain some calm for him or her at that time.

Laura Rolands is the founder of LSR Coaching and Consulting, LLC. She is a coach whose passion is to support, lead and inspire independence and success for people who have either been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD or who are facing other attention-related challenges. Her clients include individuals with attention-related challenges and/or their parents. If you have any questions or more suggestions to add, please visit her website at www.MyAttentionCoach.com.

Maintaining Calm During the Holidays

By Susan Heid of The Confident Mom

Can you feel it, the tension starting to build and your calendar beginning to overflow?  Your home becoming a little more crowded with guests and decorations that have appeared after months of storage?

Smaller spaces, more people and more to do!  Sounds like a recipe for disaster – but not if you are intentional with your choices.

As ‘Keeper of our Homes’ we have an obligation and responsibility to reign in all the chaos which bombards our families and maintain some sort of calm – especially during this precious holiday season.  Our homes should be filled with peace and joy, not arguing, tired and whiny kids and stressed out parents.

What can you do this year to keep things in check?  I have a few ideas to help get you started.

Do not Over Plan

Yes, you have heard it before and it is not rocket science – but do not take on more than your family can realistically do and enjoy doing.  It is a reality you will not be able to make every holiday party, every extended family gathering, every Christmas Program or office party.  By facing the reality now, you will avoid over booking you and your family.

Prioritize

Depending on the ages of your children, have a family meeting and discuss ideas for what will be put on your calendar.  Allow your children to voice an opinion and then discuss openly the outcome of those decisions.  You might be amazed with what your children actually tell you!

Schedule ‘Down’ Time

I know in our family my children love being able to stay at home, bake cookies, play games and watch movies– this is no different during the holidays.  What does your family enjoy?  Make sure those activities are in your calendar BEFORE you start filling it with other obligations, otherwise there won’t be time for ‘down time’.  Kids especially need this time to rest and relax, maybe even more so than adults.  Adults have accustomed ourselves to just pushing ourselves to “go, go, go” – but our kids hopefully have not considered that the norm.  We always have at least one weekend evening that we are home as a family – it is a standard, even during the holidays.

Stay Focused on Christ

What does that look like in your home?  It could be honoring others with your time, donating gifts, sharing advent together, or having a birthday cake for Jesus.  You have the ability to control some of the hype and outrageousness of the retail side of Christmas, so do what you can to keep all that outside the four walls of your house.

Create a Peaceful Sanctuary

Your home is a reflection of you and what your family stands for.  Take the extra time to allow for calm to be present in your home.  Holiday music, good smelling candles and simple Christmas decorations can create a special place your family longs for from the outside world.  As mothers, we create that atmosphere in our homes and you can do just a little more to provide a place that speaks to the heart of everyone family member.

Susan Heid loves inspiring Christian moms to make small changes managing their home and family life giving them more time, order and less stress! As a Certified Parent Coach and Family Manager Coach she enjoys sharing her expertise with moms through workshops, teleseminars, public speaking, and individual and group coaching.  She is a proud mom, step-mom and foster mom to 3, married to her very own prince charming, loves coffee, cloudy days, and does think the “bluest skies you’ve ever seen are in Seattle.”  Make sure you get a copy of her FREE ebook, “Getting Kids to Cooperate and Become Team Players.”

Holidays: Blissfully Busy or Painfully Packed?

This post is reprinted with permission by Bobbie Friedman of Simplified by Bobbie

There’s something to be said about the hustle and bustle of the holidays. But there is a fine line between this time being “blissfully busy” and “painfully packed.” Personally, I’m looking forward to a blissfully busy time this year. However, I can’t say that I’ve always felt that way! So, what changed? Well, the answer is three things really.

1. I’ve realized the power of saying “no”

This amazing little word is a huge helper… especially around the holidays. I always thought that I had to volunteer for everything, host every party, and attend every event. But now, I’ve decided what is MOST important to me, set aside time for it on my calendar, and said NO to everything else!

I’m not saying turn into “Scrooge.” However, I realized it’s much more important to do less and enjoy it more than to try to do it all and miss out on the joy that the activity was supposed to bring. It’s not always easy to say “no” at first… but once you start feeling the difference it makes, it will become much easier. You’ll soon see that this “negative word” can be a positive thing!

2. I plan and prepare much further in advance

Until 2 years ago I was a last minute holiday shopper. Somehow each Christmas Eve would arrive and I’d still have half (or more) of my shopping list to complete! I’d send cards… but they’d arrive after Christmas (oops). I would plan a party, but not make the menu until the day I was going to the grocery store! Talk about stressful… no wonder I dreaded the “painfully packed” holiday season!

Then I stumbled upon the most wonderful plan that has changed how I handle EVERYTHING pertaining to the holidays! It’s the Frazzle Free Christmas guide from www.familieswithpurpose.com. I’ve always been so organized about everything else, but somehow I’d missed out on making a plan when it came to the holidays! Well, this is no longer a problem now that I follow the Frazzle Free Christmas.

It’s amazing what a difference I felt having all of my holiday “to-do’s” laid out for me. This 8-week guide tells me when to start my lists, write-out cards, prepare my menus, and when to start shopping! I actually look forward to this season now that I’m “armed” with the Frazzle Free Christmas (I put the start date on my calendar and grow excited as it gets near)! I’m sure other plans exist on-line… but this has been working like a charm, and as long as it works so nicely I’ll continue using (and loving) it.

3. I’ve adjusted my attitude

Each October I would start to feel the holidays lurking around the corner. Anxiety would set in as I realized ALL of the things that were about to be added to my already crowded to-do list! I would turn “grinch” in an instant and that’s how my attitude would stay as I huffed and puffed and procrastinated my way through the holidays.

Then I decided enough is enough! This is a special time and I was letting silly things get in my way (and stress me out), preventing me from enjoying the meaning of Christmas (and Thanksgiving). I changed the way I looked at the holiday preparations… I made them “want to-do’s” instead of “have to-do’s.” Once I followed steps 1 and 2 above, I simply decided to enjoy everything that I CHOSE to include on my to-do list and calendar.

I made the little things fun… for example instead of buying pre-made invitations for our holiday party I thought it would be fun to make them. Holiday Invitations in the MakingThis became a family craft project of painting, stenciling, and stamping. It took more time, but we put love into each invitation and enjoyed making them together.

I also started thinking less about the “stuff” that we could give to family and friends, and focused on giving memories. What was once a list of knick-knacks and home-goods has now become gift cards for family outings and fun experiences to be shared together.

These 3 easy things have Simplified my holidays and I hope that they’ll do the same for yours!

Bobbie Friedman is a Professional Organizer, Home Management Consultant, wife, and mother. She provides clients with a personalized organizing experience, hands-on help, and knowledgeable guidance. To contact Bobbie and find out more about her services, visit her at www.simplifiedbybobbie.com.

Taking Care of You During the Holidays

By Jennifer Ascher of Organizing without Limits

Ahhh, the holidays …. You shop, wrap, decorate, bake, cook, the list goes on and on.   As all of us moms know we tend to take care of everybody and everything. But let’s be real we often forget about taking care of ourselves especially this time of the year with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. With the business that is now upon us it is more important than ever to take care of ourselves during this time. Here are some ways you can do just that.

• Keep expectations manageable. Set realistic goals and pace your self. Make a list and prioritize your tasks.
• Learn to say NO! Don’t make someone else’s emergency and crisis your own. Don’t get stuck as the official problem solver for everybody.
• Delegate: Don’t try to do it all yourself. Enlist the help of your family and friends with the holiday preparations.
• Use your calendar wisely. Besides the holiday parties, make sure to pencil in shopping and prep days.
• On that same calendar block off down time to give your self a break. Schedule activities that are relaxing for you. Perhaps going for a drive for a change of scenery, getting a manicure or pedicure, reading a book. The important thing is that you take the time for yourself and choose something that will make you feel renewed and refreshed.
• Focus on what brings you joy and leave the rest. Accept the fact that you don’t need to do everything perfectly.

Whatever craziness the season may bring, remember you and your family will enjoy the holiday season a lot more if you are not spending it pulling your hair out.

Jennifer Ascher(better known as an Organizing Geek) is a professional organizer and the owner of Organizing Without Limits in  Oakland County, MI. She began this business because of her  passion for organizing and helping others. Being a busy mom and business owner, Jennifer understands the importance of getting and staying organized.  You can reach Jennifer at http://www.organizingwithoutlimits.com or at http://organizingwithoutlimits.typepad.com. You can also find her on twitter @Organizing_Geek or on Facebook.

2008 Edition of 8 Weeks to a Frazzle Free Christmas

Make your Christmas preparations easy this year with the 2008 edition of 8 Weeks to a Frazzle Free Christmas, a completely free e-book walking busy parents through the holiday rush and preparations one week at a time.  The e-book is completely free and also offers a sign-up for optional daily and weekly reminders.  The new 8 week session begins October 20th and ends on December 14th.

Holiday Survival Guide, Part II

By Hal Runkel, LMFT

Now that you have read Part I and you’ve successfully regained your calm, you can put the following structures in place to create the kind of holiday you’ll be happy to remember.

1. Slow Down

We learned this one from our daughter Hannah when she was about 6 years old. On that Christmas morning, everyone started tearing into their presents. There were at least 15 people there and it was complete pandemonium. As I scanned the room with the video camera, I caught sight of my daughter tenderly holding a stuffed dog and shushing it. It was the first present that she had opened that morning and she hadn’t touched the rest of her huge stack. The grandparents caught sight of it as well and they began pressuring her to open the rest of her gifts. She was enjoying her dog and she saw no reason to hurry along. She was overloaded by all of the chaos and she realized something that we hadn’t: by rushing through the opening of gifts, we were actually cheapening the activity. Now, our family takes its cue from her and opens presents one person at a time, one gift at a time. Sure it takes a while, but that’s the fun part. It reduces stimulus overload, it gives time for pictures, it builds lasting memories.

2. Speed Up

The old aphorism is true: fish and visitors smell in 3 days. Keep your family “trips” short and sweet. It’s always better to leave on a good note than to overstay your welcome. If you do find yourself staying longer than you’d like, remember this fact: just because you’re staying at someone’s house, doesn’t mean you should spend all of your time together. That’s just too much pressure on everyone involved. We shouldn’t be shocked one family member lets off steam — that’s what pressure cookers do. So, build in pressure release valves in the form of one on one time with each of your kids. Let them vent. Empathize with them if they are annoyed by a cousin or if they miss their friends. By simply giving them a safe place to talk, you’ll be creating lasting memories and building relationships. If you struggle with listening (a difficult skill, to be sure), remember the three best words you can use to get kids talking: “Tell me more.”

3. Idle

Take care of yourself during these most stressful of days. Take a really long shower — go see a movie — take a walk — go and get some coffee. Recharge and renew. If you can take mini-retreats away from it all — even in the midst of it all, you’ll be better equipped to be calm, cool, and connected when you return.

Hal Runkel, LMFT, is the author of ScreamFree Parenting and founder of ScreamFree Living. For more information, visit www.screamfree.com

Holiday Survival Guide, Part I

By Hal Runkel, LMFT

When Andy Williams sang the lyric, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”, he must have been joking. What with presents to buy, parties to attend, and cheer to spread, we often find ourselves wondering what the heck is so happy about the holidays. If that describes you at all, it’s time for a little ScreamFree in your life. Here are three principles to guide you through the holidays with your sanity in tact.

1. Our kids are going to reflect our own attitudes and emotions.

If they are anxious, they are picking that up from us; if they are ungrateful, it’s because we’ve trained them to be that way; if they are unruly, it’s because we’ve allowed the craziness of the holiday to override their need for structure. Just the other day, I saw a bumper sticker that perfectly illustrates this concept. It read: My kids think I’m an ATM machine. This begs the question . . . Where did they get that crazy idea?

A common complaint that I get around the holidays is that kids are acting greedy when the holiday is supposed to be about giving. By recognizing the fact that kids are feeding off of our energy way more than we can ever imagine, we can start to see that we train our kids to be greedy by giving them far too much — it’s not the other way around.

If you find yourself frustrated with your children around the holidays, stop for a moment and take a look at what messages you are sending out.

2. Family vacation is an oxymoron.

Jerry Seinfeld said it best when he declared, “There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” You don’t vacation with your children to see your family. You travel. Few things are more taxing than packing up the kids and braving the airport or the highways during the holiday season. If we kept that in mind, we might be able to keep our cool a bit better. But, when we either travel to be with our loved ones or they travel to be with us, we tend to forget how hard it is and we put far too much pressure on ourselves and those around us to have a “happy holiday”. We idealize the holiday season and begin to look for it to make up for the difficult things inherent in any family unit. In short, we expect the holidays to be the salve of the year.

With so much riding on this “vacation”, we tend to put an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves and everyone else to have a wonderful time. We set our expectations unrealistically high and feel like failures when reality falls short.

So, if Jerry was right, what can we do? There are two things you can do to release some of that pressure before it even begins to build:

* Find a middle ground between Norman Rockwell and Norman Bates. If we temper our expectations with a healthy dose of reality and perspective, the chances of actually having a fun family holiday increase dramatically. A simple phrase to remember might be, “It won’t be the worst holiday ever unless I try to make it the best.”

* Live in the present. As John Lennon said, “Life is what happens while we’re busy making other plans.” And starting right after Halloween, retail stores, commercials, and radio stations start pushing you towards those perfect holiday plans before you can even steal the last KitKat from your child’s candy stash. This may sound strange, but try this tip: Talk about plans only when absolutely necessary.

While some amount of anticipation is enjoyable, too much of it will actually increase the level of expectations we have and it will ultimately distract you from the present, which is really where your kids need you the most.

3. Remember it’s always easier to complain than it is to change.

Take a moment to think about what goes on with your children or your extended family during the holidays that just drives you nuts.

* Little Jason throws a tantrum because grandma bought him the wrong video game. * Your mother spoils your kids rotten and makes your presents look like a joke. * Your brother and his ungrateful brood leave their dirty clothes all over your floor and never pitch in after dinner to clean up.

Now think about this: It is far easier to point out what everyone else does during the holidays to make life miserable, but it’s far more difficult to point out our own shortcomings. But even though it is certainly more difficult, it is ultimately more beneficial. Remember, you are the only one that you can change. The next time you find yourself frustrated with your kids, remember this fact. Buying into this concept can allow you to focus on yourself and begin creating the type of holiday you’ve always wanted.

If you really want to have a better, more peaceful holiday this year with your kids (or anyone for that matter), turn the tables on traditional finger pointing. Instead of finding blame, ask questions! Ask your spouse and your kids what you do around the holidays that seems to get under their skin.

Read more….Holiday Survival Guide, Part II

Hal Runkel, LMFT, is the author of ScreamFree Parenting and founder of ScreamFree Living. For more information, visit www.screamfree.com

A Parenting Tip – Create a Sane Holiday Season Now

By: Colleen Langenfeld

Could you benefit from a useful parenting tip with practical applications? Most parents
can. As a mother and a business owner who has worked with hundreds of moms over the past few years, I often hear the same thing.

“This year, it will be different,” these overwhelmed moms sigh as the holiday season draws near. “I won’t let my family do so many activities. It won’t be such a blur! We’re going to have a sane holiday this year.”

Starting to sound like a New Year’s Resolution, isn’t it? Great idea…if only you could pull it off.

Well, this year you can.

I have been parenting for over 26 years. As a mom, I know how crazy the end of the year has become for our whole culture. Not only is there an abundance of activities for adults, but our children have been pulled into the madness as well, with nearly unlimited opportunities of their own. To top it off, most of these activities are good, even excellent.

Feeling a little overwhelmed just thinking about it? Me, too.

So here’s a parenting tip with long term consequences: let’s get on top of this situation now, while the season is still in front of us and we actually have time to plan. Pull out a calendar and ask yourself how you really want your holiday season to be this year.

For example…

• Do you enjoy having an activity every evening?

• Do you enjoy activities away from home or at home? Or a mix?

• Do you want your kids to primarily do activities with their friends or with their family? (I really hope you’re choosing family!)

• What traditions are most important to you? Baking cookies? Sending cards? Caroling? Helping in your community? Serving in your house of worship?

• Do your children even understand “why” this time of year is so precious? Do they understand the religious and historical backgrounds of the holidays you celebrate?

So what’s the bottom line here? Stop trying to do everything and concentrate on one or
two activities that are truly meaningful to your family. YOU decide the important messages you want to impress upon your children this holiday season. You can choose from the long-established traditions to teach those messages or create brand new traditions that your family will love embracing.

Making family memories is what will stay with your family, year after year. It’s what your
children will take with them into adulthood. It is what they will form their own family traditions on.

They won’t remember all the hectic activities. But they will remember things like this: that every year, on the weekend after Thanksgiving, we get the Christmas decorations out of storage, snuggle up with hot chocolate, and fondly reminisce over the history of each ornament. It’s the story of our family, remembered and added to each year.

That’s one of my children’s favorite holiday traditions. Pretty simple, huh? But my grown sons speak fondly of this tradition so I know it has been important to them. And I continue it now with my daughters.

Do you see what else is going on here? Besides the warm fuzzies, I am now much more aware of the powerful influence I have as my children’s parent. And it makes it easier for me to intentionally use making memories to teach them what I believe is most important for them to know.

So what is my most excellent parenting tip for you this holiday season? Stop going with the flow. Instead think, plan and create your family’s holiday memories this season. Be intentional with your family’s limited time (and energy), and encourage peace, laughter and thoughtfulness during this blessed and holy time of the year.

About the Author
Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for over 26 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at http://www.paintedgold.com. Visit her website to get the parenting tip you need today.

8 Weeks to a Frazzle Free Christmas

Join me as I set out this year to take control of our holiday preparations and strive to complete them an entire two weeks before Christmas. Beginning on October 16th and ending on December 9th, my 8 Week Plan to a Frazzle Free Christmas will guide me along with any willing and able participants through all of the holiday preparations and craziness that comes along with getting ready for the holiday. Download the free ebook, subscribe to receive daily and weekly reminders, tips, and hints, and follow along in my blog as I set out to conquer the craziness and actually enjoy the holiday rather than fear it. I will be ready by December 9th even if it kills me!

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