Traits of a Frazzle-Free Mom

By: Mandi Ehman

School, work, hobbies, family, friends, volunteering, after-school activities, homeschooling and more — there’s no doubt that today’s mom has more than enough on her plate to keep her busy. Sometimes the many obligations vying for our attention become too much and we need to take a step back and reprioritize, choosing which activities are worth our attention and which we need to let go of. Other times, what we really need is to come up with a plan to better manage our obligations and activities with grace and ease.

Although I don’t always manage to pull it off myself, here are five traits of a frazzle-free mom to help you balance everything on your plate:

1. She’s organized.

Organizing your day as well as your physical surroundings means you won’t be wasting time or energy trying to remember what is on your calendar or to-do list or trying to find something you need. We’ve all had those days where the schedule is full and everything needs to run smoothly, only to realize we’ve forgotten to write down an obligation. Trying to remember everything that needs your attention or wasting time searching for your car keys and wallet is a surefire way to send your day into a tailspin.

Whether you use a physical planner, an online calendar or just a simple pad of paper, write everything down. Storing it all in your brain will inevitably result in a stressed out mama and forgotten tasks.

If your home or office is unorganized and chaotic, you’re wasting time and energy on stuff – finding it, moving it, thinking about it — instead of being able to focus on the important things. I know figuring out where to start can be overwhelming, so start by decluttering. Take two trash bags or boxes and fill one with things that can be thrown away and one with things to be given away. Try not to overanalyze each decision too much, but make it a game to see how quickly you can fill up the boxes.

Once you’ve decluttered, start by organizing a small area, such as a desk drawer or a shelf in a closet. Continue organizing one small area at a time until you feel good about your space and then work on maintaining it by putting things back where they belong after using them.

2. She’s prepared.

My motto in life is, “Expect the best but prepare for the worst.” Life with kids is unpredictable at best, but you can be prepared for those unexpected moments when the baby spits up all over herself (and you) or when your preschooler has an accident after being fully potty trained for years or when you’re stuck in traffic and everyone is hungry and antsy.

Keep your diaper bag stocked and ready to go by the door so that you’re not stuffing things in it on your way to a play date or lesson. Plan your menu ahead of time so that you’re not staring blankly into your pantry at 5:30. Obviously “unexpected” means you can’t anticipate every situation, but the better prepared you are in general, the more likely you’ll be able to come up with some way to handle whatever comes your way.

3. She prioritizes.

There are only so many hours in a day, and sometimes we just have to choose from among a list of “good” activities to ensure the “best” ones are getting our attention. Think about what your priorities are as a mother so that you can make sure you’re focusing on the most important ones first. I know I end up frazzled and unhappy when my priorities get out of whack and I let the most important things slip. Your priorities may be mothering and homemaking, but they also may include running a business, writing a book or volunteering. The important part is listing your priorities and making decisions based on them rather than getting caught up in the “tyranny of the urgent”.

4. She knows her pressure points.

What little things drive you nuts? Fly Lady says to always go to bed with a clean sink, and it’s something I strive for in my own life as well, but even more importantly, I make my bed every morning. It only takes a minute or two, but it’s amazing how big of an impact such a simple activity has on my day. When it’s not done, I feel overwhelmed, stressed out and out of control, but when it is done, it feels like I can face anything.

Your pressure points may be different than mine, but the key is figuring out which things impact your mood and stress level so that you can give those things priority even when you don’t have time for the rest.

5. She strives for excellence but NOT perfection.

There is no such thing as a perfect mother, and trying to live up to impossible standards will leave you discouraged and frustrated. However, this doesn’t mean that you should throw all standards out the window or never strive to do better. Rather, do everything with excellence so that you’re less likely to have to redo something a second time. Whether it’s keeping house, volunteering on a committee or running a business, do your best at every task. It doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect, so don’t beat yourself up when you make mistakes, but rather look at each mistake or failure as a learning opportunity and a chance to do better next time.

Mandi Ehman is a work-at-home mom to four spunky little girls. She believes that organizing only lasts if you do it your way – to fit your needs, your preferences and your lifestyle – and she shares organizing and time management tips at Organizing Your Way.

Spring Cleaning Checklist

We have created a spring cleaning checklist to go along with our very popular house cleaning schedule.  Enjoy!

12 Tips on Managing Kids’ Laundry and Clothes

A post on our family life forum about organizing kids’ clothes got me thinking about all the tips and ideas I have picked up over the past 12 years in regards to managing what seems like the never ending pile of kids’ clothes.  I thought it might be a good idea to write some of them down.

1. Store outgrown clothes you are saving for a younger sibling in boxes or tubs marked with sizes. 

 

2. Go through your kids closets every spring and fall and decide what you are saving and what you are not saving. If you are saving it, put it in one of the pre-labeled boxes or containers and store them in an out of the way place. If you are donating the clothes, use Jodi’s advice and plan a goodwill pick up the day after your purge.

 

3. Use laundry baskets in the kids’ closets or bedrooms for dirty laundry. One for whites and one for darks. Teach the kids how to put their dirty clothes in them and how to sort them.

 

4. If you sell the outgrown clothes in a garage or mom to mom sale, follow my friend Sue’s advice and mark it with the price as you are purging it and storing it. This will save a lot of time when it is time to set up for the sale.

 

5. Encourage kids to get themselves dressed by putting their clothes at their levels. My 4 year old and 7 year old share a room and dresser. I make sure that the 4 year old’s clothes are in the bottom two drawers so that she can reach them herself.

 

6. When putting clothes in drawers, roll the clothes rather then fold them so that you and your child can more easily see what there is to wear rather than having to sift through a pile of folded shirts and pants.

 

7. Use a closet organizer with the days of the weeks to pre-select your kids’ outfits for the week. You will find this helps a lot with the daily morning routine.

 

8. Buy different colored or style of socks for each child so that sorting and folding is easier.

 

9. I’m not sure about you, but we seem to accumulate a lot of t-shirts from day camps and extra-curricular sports. We save them and use them as night shirts or pair them with an inexpensive pair of lounge/PJ pants from Target or Old Navy.

 

10. Keep a stain stick in the dirty laundry baskets and teach your kids to use it before they put their clothes in the dirty laundry.

 

11. Use a separate lingerie bag for each child to keep kids’ socks separate in the washer and dryer.

 

12. If you don’t know how or don’t have time to fix a hem with needle or thread, glue guns work wonders….

 

How to Keep Track Of and Organize Family Activity Ideas

Family activity files are a great way to keep track of all those clipped magazine articles, brochures, and websites, you have collected over the years in the hopes of having them readily available when planning your family outings and activities or when looking for some new family night ideas.  Similar to a family travel file, a family activity file can make planning a family outing or finding a new idea a lot easier by organizing the ideas by category and keeping them stored in one central location.    Here are some suggestions on how to make your own.

Determine What Kind of System You Need

Any organizing system you design should be created so that it meets your needs and isn’t complicated to use or keep updated.  So when creating a system to organize your family activity ideas it is important to start first with understanding how and how often you collect information.

If you tend to be a big collector of paper such as magazine articles, event brochures, newspaper clippings, etc then you will most likely need a multi folder system for storing your information.  If you tend to only collect and save only a few pieces of information and keep a small amount of notes, then you are probably best trying to incorporate your family activity file into your current system for organizing papers or just starting with a single file folder.

Also, if you tend to bookmark a lot of family activity idea websites on your computer then your online organizing system should also be a little more in depth with multiple folders for different topics.  If you tend to bookmark or save very little information on line, a single bookmark folder will do or simply a printout or written note will be enough.

Creating a Paper Based Multi Folder System

Things You Will Need

3 Ring Binder

Tab Dividers

3 Hole Punched File Folders

If you decide to go with a multi folder system, then begin by deciding how best to sort the information you save.  Here are a couple of options to get you started.  You can use these topics or create your own.  Just make sure you use topics that make sense to you and that will make it easy to find things when you need them.

Family Night Ideas

Family Outing Ideas

Holiday Traditions

Craft Ideas

Science Ideas

Boredom Busters

Online Resources and Notes

Another option is to sort your information and ideas by holiday if you tend to do most of your family outings and activities during specific holidays.  Here is a list to get you started: New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Passover, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, July 4^th/Memorial Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah

Once you decide how to sort the ideas you save, then you will know how many file folders to buy and how big a 3 ring binder to use.  Keep in mind that you may find topics you want to add in the future, so be sure to buy a few extra file folders so that you have a place to store the new information.

Also, be sure to have an extra file folder or notepad in your binder to keep hand written notes on any ideas, suggestions, or websites you want to remember. 

Creating an Online Multi Folder System

If you tend to spend a lot of time on the internet bookmarking favorite ideas for family outings then you also may want to set up an online version of the paper based system.  To do this, create a folder in your favorites file and name it Family Activity Ideas.  Once you have the main folder set up you can go ahead and create sub-folders within the Family Activity Idea folder using the same labeling system you designed for your paper based system.  After you have all your folders set up, go through your exisiting bookmarks and move them to the appropriate sub-folder. 

If you tend to bookmark only a few sites in your favorites then the multi folder approach may be a little more than what you need.  In this case, here are some other options for you to try:

Create just one Family Activity Idea folder in your Favorites folder and just store everything in that one main folder. You can always subdivide the folder at a later time if the contents begin to grow and you are having a hard time finding anything.

Write down the web address and website name of an online idea you have found in the notes/online section of your paper based system. 

Print off a copy of the idea or website and store it in the online resource section of your paper based system. Just be sure to read through the websites copyright rules to be sure that printing off copies is allowed.

 How to Use a Family Activity File

Once you have your family activity file set up it is just a matter of remembering to use it and maintain it.  Here are some tips to help do this:

Have your file handy during family meetings or while discussing weekend plans.

Keep notes of your activities stored in your file to make planning the following year simpler. In regards to day outings, things you may want to take note of are, when you went, the weather, the crowd level, things you should do differently, and any coupons or discounts you used. In regards to any crafts or home family activities, be sure to keep notes on problems you had, how fun or engaged the kids were in the activity, where you bought the supplies, changes you would make, and the things that worked well.

Go through both your paper and online file every year to toss out things you no longer need.

Good luck!

How to Create a Family Travel File

 A family with purpose is a family who strives to manage and balance their lives and who work diligently to prevent their lives from being controlled by outside factors. A family with purpose sets priorities and lives their lives accordingly.

You are thumbing through a magazine and find an article on a really neat fun place to vacation, or you are surfing the net and stumble on an incredibly fantastic resort.  So you either rip the page out of the magazine or bookmark the webpage.  The magazine page gets filed away in some drawer and the webpage gets added to the already thousand bookmarks you have created.  A couple years later while cleaning out drawers or cleaning up your computer you find them and say “oh yeah, I forgot about this place.”

Does this sound familiar?  If so, then maybe a family travel file will help.  Organized by destination, a family travel file helps families keep track of all the information they pick up and want to save on either a vacation spot they visit frequently or a new place they may want to try.  Here is how you create one for your family.

Things You Will Need

3 Ring Binder

Tab Dividers

3 Hole Punched File Folders

A working knowledge of your browser’s bookmark or favorites feature

How to Create

First decide if you want to keep both an electronic and paper based system.  Since so much information comes to us over the internet it is helpful to have both versions, but if you prefer to keep everything in one place stick with the paper system for now.

If you already have a paper file started with information, begin by sorting through that file.  Toss the things you don’t want or need anymore and save the things you want to keep.  Once you have weeded this file out, sort all of the information by destination and put all of the literature you have for each destination into one pile.  Once you have this done, you will have the titles for each of your tab dividers.  Simply write in the destination’s name on each tab divider and place all of the literature you have for each destination in one of the three hole punched file folders and place the tab divider with the file folder immediately behind it in your three ring binder.  If you only have one or two pieces of information on a certain place and not sure you want to make it a separate tab in your binder, simply create a tab and title it “Maybe Someday” or “Possibilities”.  Be sure to have some extra dividers and file folders, so you can easily add to your travel file in the future.  Also consider creating a “Useful Resources” tab to collect any website addresses or general travel information you want to keep.

If you are creating an electronic version as well, the process is very similar.  Begin by creating a Travel folder in your favorites or bookmarks.  In Windows Explorer you do this by clicking on Favorites, selecting Organize Favorites, Select New Folder, Type in Travel, and hit Close when you are done.  In Firefox, you do essentially the same thing, but using the Bookmark feature rather than the Favorites feature.  Next, start by going through your current bookmarks or favorites and if it is travel related and you want to keep it, save it to your family travel file.  Once you have gone through everything, begin sorting everything in your travel folder by destination similar to what was done with the paper version.

If you only want to keep a paper version, skip setting up the Travel folder in your Favorites.  Simply go through you current bookmarks and printout any information you want to keep and place it in your paper folder.

How to Use Your Family Travel File

Once you have everything set up it just becomes a matter of maintaining and using the information.  Here are some tips to help you make the most of your Family Travel File:

Have it handy while planning your family vacation.  Use the information you have saved to create your itineraries and plans. 

While vacationing, remember to save brochures, menus, and flyers of places you want to visit again.  When you get home you can simply add them to your travel file.

If you vacation to the same spot frequently, keep any notes on costs, budgets, and travel items in your file.

Continue to tear out important information from the magazines or newspapers and just save it in your file.  Do the same thing with any new ideas or information you come across on the web.  Simply save it to your electronic travel file or print it out for your paper based system.

Good luck!

Ten Things You Can Get Done in 15 Minutes

Got a spare 15 minutes?  Here are 10 quick things you can do in 15 minutes that make you feel like you have accomplished something.

Check in with your kids or spouse.  Take time to hug and tell them you love them.

Clean out a small drawer

Update your family calendar

Fill out and sign a permission slip

Make coffee for the next day

Empty the dishwasher

Feed a pet

Set the table

Get and sort through the mail

Leave an unexpected love note

Creating a House Cleaning Schedule

The key to keeping house cleaning from overrunning your family life is to create a plan consistent with your housecleaning philosophy and stick to it.  As with any new plan or change there will be bumps along the way, so don’t be afraid to fine tune it as you go along or change it as your schedule changes. 

How to Start

Begin by making a master list of all your house cleaning chores.  After you have made your master list, go through the list and indicate whether they should be done on a weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, quarterly, semi-annually, or annually time basis.

After you have your master list complete, go through and clean it up by writing it on a house cleaning schedule.  You can use one of ours, create your own to suit your own tastes and style, or try using an online chore organizer like MyChores to help get you organized.

                House Cleaning Schedule - PDF Format

                House Cleaning Schedule - Word Format

After you have a clean copy of your house cleaning schedule, print off a copy to keep in your Kitchen Folio or attached to your refrigerator and bulletin board.

Also, be sure to add the chores to your family calendar or planner as well as to your daily routines.

Tips to Make House Cleaning Easier

Get the entire family involved in the house cleaning by assigning age appropriate chores to kids and consider paying them a weekly allowance. 

Avoid adding a lot of cleaning to the days when you have a lot of appointments or errands.

Keep it flexible - be willing to move things around a bit to fit in last minute requests from the kids or work or the school

Don’t save everything for one day of the week.  Do a little bit every day so that you don’t become overwhelmed.  It is much easier to find a free 30 minutes here or there rather than a 2 or 3 hour block of time to clean the house.

House Cleaning - The Thorn in Every Family’s Side

Our house cleaning philosophy here at Families with Purpose is simple - clean it to your standards, minimize the distraction it takes on your family life, and don’t beat yourself up when it doesn’t get done.   And with this philosophy in mind you won’t find us spending a lot of time writing about how to clean your house.  We would much rather write about creating an authentic family life for yourself and children than how to clean your house.   We will leave the nitty gritty of cleaning up to the experts like FlyLady, Real Simple, and Organized Home.  They can teach you much more about cleaning than we ever could and really are the experts.

So if you haven’t deserted us for one of the cleaning experts, here are the details behind our house cleaning philosophy.  Tomorrow we will talk more specifically about how you can create your own house cleaning plan.

Clean It to Your Standards - Just like everyone has a different tolerance for pain, everyone has a different tolerance for a dirty house.  Some of us won’t be satisfied if we aren’t Martha Stewart clean while others go through life just fine being pleasantly blind to the 1 inch covering of dust on the furniture.  The point is to be honest with yourself about what is important to you (not your mother! ) and what in reality you can accomplish.   After you have determined what a realistic standard is for yourself and family, accept it and find peace with that standard. 

Minimize the Distraction it Takes on Your Family - We have talked in the past about the peace in having a plan, and establishing a house cleaning plan is no different.  Just knowing that you have a plan to get the cleaning done brings a lot of comfort to any busy parent.  The key to any house cleaning plan though is in finding that delicate balance between having a clean house and getting it done without sacrificing too much family harmony.  Your plan has to be robust enough so that the kids aren’t embarrassed to bring over their friends, but not so over the top that you have no time for fun.    You want your house cleaning plan such that you find yourself saying yes more often than no to last minute requests for a game of Family Fun or fun bike rides around the neighborhood.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up When It Doesn’t Get Done - The reality of life is that everything on our do list is not going to get done.  There will be days when house cleaning will take a backseat to late work nights, science fair projects, and Little League baseball games and THAT IS OKAY.  After all, how do you want your kids to remember you?  As a parent who was always cleaning or a parent who made it to every game?  You decide and remember the little things really do matter.

Organizing Your Shopping List

It never fails. I will be upstairs getting ready for my day and realize we are out of toothpaste or I will be sitting at work and suddenly remember we need to bring the snack for the next soccer game. And I always say to myself one of two things: A.) I don’t need to write it down, I will remember or B.) I will write it on the shopping list we keep on the refrigerator when I get downstairs or home. And about 98% of the time I forget to do either one because I either get a phone call or a request to tie a shoe and the soccer snacks and toothpaste are long since forgotten. Eventually, I end up at the store standing in the aisle telling myself there is something I had to remember and for the life of me I can’t remember what (only to remember when I go to brush my teeth at night).

Getting into the habit of making a grocery list or shopping list helps save money, save time, and leaves us feeling a little less frustrated and overwhelmed, but the habit only fully works if the lists have everything we need. So to make the most of our time, money and sanity here are some tips to help make list making easier.

Have a shopping list for things like toiletries, laundry detergent, or cleaning supplies in every room where you use these items. Tape them to the bathroom mirrors, laundry room cupboards, and on cleaning closet doors.

Use either tape or a magnet to post your grocery list to the refrigerator door. Add things as soon as you realize you are out of the item. Hands busy and don’t have time right away? Leave the empty box or carton on the counter until you get a moment to write it down.

Most email programs and calendars like Microsoft Outlook have a note function for keeping small notes and memo’s. Use the notes to keep track of things you need at the store. You can either print off the note itself or sync it to your PDA for use in the store.

Leave yourself a phone, email, or text message as a reminder. I know this may seem a little extreme, but it can work. This is a great option for parents who spend a lot of time in meetings at work and don’t have access to their lists. Simply pull out your cell phone or laptop and email or text yourself a reminder to add whatever you need to your list.

Teach all family members how to write down what they need when they realize they are out of something. Trust me when I say, they may forget at first to write things down, but it only takes one time of not having something they need for them to start remembering how!

New Family Travel and Home Organizing Products

In anticipation of summer travel plans and our never ending quest to conquer the chaos, we have been busy adding an assortment of new items in our family travel gear section along with some brand new home organizing products.

Family Travel Products

• TravelPrep.pad™ is a simple travel packing checklist with prompts to help you remember all those pesky details so that you always arrive at your destination with sanity completely intact.

• We’ve added a boat load of travel games hoping to help stressed parents cope with long car rides, airplane flights, and even the never ending waits in the doctor’s office. The Grab & Go series offers new twists on classic games in convenient travel cases. The new Grab & Go games include, a four in a row game, wacky and weird frog games , a super sized jacks game , a Mega marble game and last but not least, Turbo tic tac toe . In addition, we have added a new travel scavenger hunt game, sticker books, the Plane Spotter, and a USA Map Game.
• To help kids preserve their vacation memories, we have added a couple kids’ travel journals. Filled with writing prompts, games and activities these journals are perfect for recording your special vacation moments.
• And for long car rides or just running around town, we have added a book of Kid’s Car Travel Games and Activities.

Home Organizing Products

• We LOVE the ButtonedUp line of products for their eye catching design and practicality and because we love them so much we have added many of their products to our home organizing line. Last month we added Life.doc and this month we have added many of their themed note pads:
  • The Babysitter.pad - a babysitting checklist for those hurried moments
  • The Shopping.pad - a convenient shopping list for parents on the go
  • KidPack.pad - an easy to use student schoolwork checklist, so kids never forget another thing for either school or after school activities!
  • Homework.pad - Your kids will never miss another assignment with this perfect homework organizer.
  • WouldYou.pad - a really creative way of asking for help
  • BabyPack.pad - never forget another thing in your diaper bag with this handy diaper bag checklist.
  • Errand.pad - make running errands a little more fun with the beautifully designed errand list.
  • CatchUp.pad - a fun way of communicating with your spouse about the who, what, and where’s of your busy family life.
• Also from ButtonedUp, a fitness notebook for parents and families serious about fitness.

Also, be sure to visit our selection Easter basket gifts for some new and fresh Easter gift ideas this year.

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