Parents’ Night Out

Getting away for a few hours with your spouse every so often is a definite must do, but actually getting out the door with your sanity in check can be a challenge. Here are some quick tips to ease the stress and make the transition from loving parents to happy couple easier:

Plug in your cell phone when you start to get ready to make sure it is fully charged while you are gone.

Allow more time than you think you’ll need to get ready. Children always know when something is up or they are about to be left behind and have this incredible knack for suddenly needing EVERYTHING just before you leave. Allow at least an extra 30 minutes to make the transition easier.

Think through in advance everything the babysitter will need to know and do while you are gone. Use a babysitting checklist to help you remember and organize your thoughts. A checklist not only helps you organize your thoughts, but also helps the babysitter remember everything you tell her. In the confusion of the parents leaving and the babysitter arriving it is often difficult to remember all of specific instructions. So help the babysitter out with a checklist.

If your children are anxious about being left behind, read them a story or get them started on an art project before you leave.

Have any specific snacks you allow the kids to eat sitting out on the counter. This eliminates confusion and makes it easier for the babysitter to find them.

Decide early in the day which outfit you will be wearing and if you need to change handbags. Make sure everything is clean and ironed.

Debt Reduction Strategies

For many families battling debt is a problem. From braces, to daycare, to family vacations, families every day are struggling to keep up financially and are relying more and more on credit cards to help pay the bills. According to money-zine.com, the average family carried a balance of $8,500 in credit card debt in 2007. With a current average variable rate of 12.89% (source bankrate.com) and an average payment of $212.50 (2.5%), it will take a family approximately 53 months or about 4 ½ years to pay off this debt.

So what’s a family who is faced with a lot of debt to do? Here are some common debt reduction strategies to help you get started.

Pay the Highest Rate First - List all of your family debt (credit cards, auto loans, personal loans) on a piece of paper with each debt’s balance, minimum payment, and interest rate. Sort the debt from highest interest rate to lowest interest rate and start tackling the debt with the highest rate first. Throw as much money as you can at the debt with the highest interest rate while making only the minimum payments on all the other debt. Once the highest interest rate is paid off, move onto the next highest rate paying as much as you can while continuing to pay the minimums on all the other debt.

The Debt Snowball approach is a debt reduction strategy advocated by Dave Ramsey in Total Money Makeover. In this strategy, you begin by listing all of your family debt just like in the first strategy, but rather than starting with the debt with the highest rate you start with the debt with the lowest balance. You throw everything you have at the debt with the lowest balance while continuing to make payments on all of the other debts. Once the first debt is paid off you take the payment you were making on it, roll or snowball it into the minimum payment on the next debt until the next debt is paid off. You continue this snowball approach, each time making your payment bigger and bigger, as you roll your payments together until all the debt is paid off. The philosophy behind this debt reduction strategy is more psychological in that people need the psychological win of actually paying off a debt to continue. By paying off the debt with the smallest balance, families realize a quick win and thus have motivation to continue tackling the remaining debt.

Dead on Last Payment (DOLP) - In the book Start Late, Finish Rich, author David Bach advocates the DOLP debt reduction strategy for families. In this method he advocates using a DOLP factor to determine how to pay off your debt. Begin by listing all of your debt along with each debt’s balance and minimum payment. Divide the balance on each debt by the minimum payment to calculate a DOLP score - or Dead on Last Payment. Rank the debt from lowest to highest DOLP score and begin tackling the debt with the lowest DOLP score first. Throw any extra money you have at this debt while continuing to make the minimum payments on all the other debt. When the first debt is paid off, move onto the debt with the next highest DOLP score.

Connecting with Your Kids When You Don’t Have A Lot of Time

A family with purpose is a family who strives to manage and balance their lives and who work diligently to prevent their lives from being controlled by outside factors. A family with purpose sets priorities and lives their lives accordingly.

Is your homework finished? Did you make your bed? What do you want for lunch? Some days it feels like this is all I ever say to my kids. Days like these are enough to make any parent feel sad and insecure.

In the midst of all the chaos, sometimes parents forget that connecting with kids doesn’t have to be some big expensive time consuming event. The little things really are important and can be just as effective! Here are a few ideas, all of which require very little time, to help you connect with your kids even on the most chaos filled days.

Lipstick Kisses - Every morning before work, my friend Kelle would put on her favorite shade of lipstick and leave her sleeping sons huge lipstick kisses on their cheeks. When the boys awoke later the morning after their mother had left for work, they found beautiful reminders of their mother’s love.

A Kiss a Day - Another friend who had to spend an extended period of time in the hospital left her kids a bowl of Hershey Kisses. Every day each child was allowed one of their mother’s kisses from the bowl. The kisses were a simple and gentle (not to mention great tasting) way of reminding her kids that she loved them even when she couldn’t be with them. You don’t have to be in the hospital to make this work for you. Leaving the kisses in their lunch boxes, with their breakfast, or on their pillow can be just as effective and fun. Be creative and have fun with this!

Love Notes - Leave your kids simple little love notes letting them know how much they are loved and appreciated. You can leave the notes on pillows, in backpacks, with a special blanket or toy, in lunches, or in your family mailbox. Some possible things to write are, I love you because, I’m glad you’re my son/daughter because, I love fill in the blank with you, or a simple note of thanks for loving you.

Bedtime Rituals - Bedtime is often a good time to connect with your kids either with a special way of saying goodnight, a special bedtime story, prayers, or just simply laying with them in bed and talking about your day.

Secret Handshakes - Create a special way of saying hello or goodbye to your kids with a secret handshake, special hug, or wave.

Family Vacation Jar

Families with purpose are families who dream together and work together to make their dreams and goals a reality.

Family vacations are great opportunities for families to connect and create some wonderful memories. Some of my fondest memories are of family vacations out west in a station wagon with no air conditioning with my parents and brother; lying in what we called the “back back” with our sleeping bags formed into air tunnels from the air rushing through the open windows. And some of my kids’ fondest memories are of a trip to San Diego, not so much because of the awesome zoos, but because of the cool ice cream machine just outside our hotel room door in the hallway. To this day, they still talk about that incredible vacation and that cool ice cream machine.

As the kids have grown older and their tastes more “sophisticated” (aka expensive) we have created a fun way of planning for our family vacations with a family vacation jar. The family vacation jar is simply a way that we as a family work together to make our family travel dreams a reality while at the same time commemorating our hopes and dreams for future family vacations.

Simply put, a family vacation jar (or box) is a decorated jar used to save for the next big adventure. Decorated with pictures and words of places you want to visit or have visited, the jar becomes a daily visual reminder of your dreams. Families work together to fill the jar with spare change from their pockets and wallets. Once filled families can use the money to take their next family vacation or as a way of saving for that really expensive trip they have been dreaming about for ages. The family travel jar is a great way of working together on a family goal and teaching the kids a lesson in saving. Realizing the good things in life are worth waiting and working for, is a great lesson for any family.

To make your own family vacation jar simply gather some pictures of places you would like to travel either from magazines, newspapers, travel brochures, or family photos. Work together as a family to cut and glue your pictures onto the outside of a jar or vase. Use your computer and printer to print out any words you want to describe your vacations (fun, adventurous, awesome, educational, etc) or a special name (Smith Family Vacation Dreams) to your jar. Fill the jar with any spare change from around the house. Once your jar is completed, place it in a central place like the fireplace mantel to remind everyone to make regular contributions.

New Family Travel and Home Organizing Products

In anticipation of summer travel plans and our never ending quest to conquer the chaos, we have been busy adding an assortment of new items in our family travel gear section along with some brand new home organizing products.

Family Travel Products

• TravelPrep.pad™ is a simple travel packing checklist with prompts to help you remember all those pesky details so that you always arrive at your destination with sanity completely intact.

• We’ve added a boat load of travel games hoping to help stressed parents cope with long car rides, airplane flights, and even the never ending waits in the doctor’s office. The Grab & Go series offers new twists on classic games in convenient travel cases. The new Grab & Go games include, a four in a row game, wacky and weird frog games , a super sized jacks game , a Mega marble game and last but not least, Turbo tic tac toe . In addition, we have added a new travel scavenger hunt game, sticker books, the Plane Spotter, and a USA Map Game.
• To help kids preserve their vacation memories, we have added a couple kids’ travel journals. Filled with writing prompts, games and activities these journals are perfect for recording your special vacation moments.
• And for long car rides or just running around town, we have added a book of Kid’s Car Travel Games and Activities.

Home Organizing Products

• We LOVE the ButtonedUp line of products for their eye catching design and practicality and because we love them so much we have added many of their products to our home organizing line. Last month we added Life.doc and this month we have added many of their themed note pads:
  • The Babysitter.pad - a babysitting checklist for those hurried moments
  • The Shopping.pad - a convenient shopping list for parents on the go
  • KidPack.pad - an easy to use student schoolwork checklist, so kids never forget another thing for either school or after school activities!
  • Homework.pad - Your kids will never miss another assignment with this perfect homework organizer.
  • WouldYou.pad - a really creative way of asking for help
  • BabyPack.pad - never forget another thing in your diaper bag with this handy diaper bag checklist.
  • Errand.pad - make running errands a little more fun with the beautifully designed errand list.
  • CatchUp.pad - a fun way of communicating with your spouse about the who, what, and where’s of your busy family life.
• Also from ButtonedUp, a fitness notebook for parents and families serious about fitness.

Also, be sure to visit our selection Easter basket gifts for some new and fresh Easter gift ideas this year.

New Home Organizing Products

We have added a lot of great new home organizing products. All designed to keep busy families organized and on track.

The Kitchen Folio the ultimate paperwork organizer, is available in three great colors. With the Kitchen Folio you will have a place and system for all the papers your kids bring home as well as your own paperwork for work or outside commitments.

The Weekly Family Planner is the latest addition to our magnetic refrigerator calendars. Keep track of your schedule as well as the comings and goings of up to 4 kids with this handy magnetic weekly calendar.

The Life.doc organizer is the ultimate household organizer system. From your legal documents to basic household contact information, Life.doc covers it all.

Our latest themed note pads are sure to be a hit with all busy parents. We have 4 new great styles, the blank grocery shopping list, things to do list, babysitting checklist, and permission slip.

11 Quick and Easy Things You Can Do Right Now to Organize Your Personal Finances

A family with purpose is a family who controls their lives and who work diligently to prevent their lives from being controlled by outside factors. A family with purpose sets priorities and lives their lives accordingly.

Request your free annual credit report. By law, credit bureaus are required to give everyone a free copy of their credit report every year.

Consider protecting yourself from identity theft by placing a freeze on your credit at all three credit bureaus. Credit freezes prevent anyone from opening an account or taking out a loan without your knowledge by blocking access to your credit report. Don’t do this if you plan on applying for credit or a loan in the near future. There are fees (around $10) every time you place a freeze, request a temporary lift, or cancel. You will need to place the credit freeze with all three credit reporting agencies, Equifax, Experian, and Trans Union, for this to be effective

Get real about how much you owe. Take some time to list all your debts with the amount you owe and the interest rate you are paying on one piece of paper. Make one list sorted from smallest balance to largest balance and another list with highest interest to lowest interest. Next month we will talk about debt reduction strategies to help get rid of some of the debt.

Shred all the bills, credit card bills, and pay stubs from last year keeping the ones that are tax related.

Set up automatic bill payment for your utilities and mortgage. Most utility and mortgage companies allow for people to have their payments automatically deducted from their bank accounts for no fee.

Organize everything you need to keep on top of your home finances in either one central drawer or a basket. Include your checkbook, stamps, envelopes, stapler, monthly budget, etc. Make sure you have everything you need to make paying the bills and updating your budget easier and quicker. Having to constantly get up and down to get something you need wastes time.

If your employer offers it, set up your paycheck to be directly deposited every week into your bank account. If possible, establish an automatic savings plan by having some of your paycheck directly deposited into a savings account.

Consider refinancing your mortgage. The Federal Reserve recently lowered interest rates and it may be to your advantage to shop around for a better rate. The better your credit score the better the rate and more likely the banks will be willing to work with you.

Never miss another bill. Make a list of all your monthly bills and the date each month they are due. Place this in your basket or drawer for quick reference.

Make folders to keep track of your personal finances. Make a folder for each of these categories, Utilities, Bank Statements, Credit Card Bills, Mortgage, Taxes, Paychecks, Retirement Plans, Budget.

Schedule on your family calendar which days you will review your personal finances and pay bills.

Getting Organized for the New Year

A family with purpose is a family who controls their lives and who work diligently to prevent their lives from being controlled by outside factors. A family with purpose sets priorities and lives their lives accordingly.

Question: My family life is so hectic. It seems like we are always running and never have time to just relax. We really want to get better control of our lives, but don’t know where to start.

I hear you….with 4 kids and a job I can definitely relate. Try these small but important steps to ease the chaos in the coming year.

Clean your Schedule – Start by making a master list of every family member’s obligations including school, work (both inside and outside commitments), extra-curricular activities, church, family (i.e. aging parents), and charity work. Then go through the list and dump the ones not mandatory and which don’t bring you or family members happiness. Note: This may require you to have some uncomfortable conversations, make hard decisions, or tell some people no. But trust me when I say you will feel better after your schedule is cleared.

Schedule Do Nothing Days - A Do Nothing Day is where the family literally goes no where and has no guests. They simply hang out at home either getting things done around the house or just simply laying on the couch all day in their pajamas. Begin by scheduling yours at least monthly on your family calendar. If possible schedule it weekly or bi-weekly, but make sure it is at least monthly. These days are really important for re-fueling, so be sure to get them scheduled. Be strong and protect these days like they were gold!

Get Honest About Your Family Finances – Nothing is more draining or stressful than worrying about money. Start the new year fresh by taking the time to get honest about where your family is financially. Not sure where to start or how to get control? Think about using a journal to record your family budget and track expenses or reading Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover to get you started.

Establish a Routine – Discuss as a family what worked and didn’t work about your family’s schedule last year. When did it seem most stressed? Were there things you could have done differently? Work out a new routine to try and relieve some of the problems from last year and WRITE IT DOWN.

Family Goal Setting Chart

Recording and tracking your family goals is a big part of ensuring success. To help, try using a family goal setting chart (this is in a pdf format) to help keep you focused. Personalize it with family photos or images cut from magazines to give it a more inspirational feel.

Holiday Survival Guide, Part II

By Hal Runkel, LMFT

Now that you have read Part I and you’ve successfully regained your calm, you can put the following structures in place to create the kind of holiday you’ll be happy to remember.

1. Slow Down

We learned this one from our daughter Hannah when she was about 6 years old. On that Christmas morning, everyone started tearing into their presents. There were at least 15 people there and it was complete pandemonium. As I scanned the room with the video camera, I caught sight of my daughter tenderly holding a stuffed dog and shushing it. It was the first present that she had opened that morning and she hadn’t touched the rest of her huge stack. The grandparents caught sight of it as well and they began pressuring her to open the rest of her gifts. She was enjoying her dog and she saw no reason to hurry along. She was overloaded by all of the chaos and she realized something that we hadn’t: by rushing through the opening of gifts, we were actually cheapening the activity. Now, our family takes its cue from her and opens presents one person at a time, one gift at a time. Sure it takes a while, but that’s the fun part. It reduces stimulus overload, it gives time for pictures, it builds lasting memories.

2. Speed Up

The old aphorism is true: fish and visitors smell in 3 days. Keep your family “trips” short and sweet. It’s always better to leave on a good note than to overstay your welcome. If you do find yourself staying longer than you’d like, remember this fact: just because you’re staying at someone’s house, doesn’t mean you should spend all of your time together. That’s just too much pressure on everyone involved. We shouldn’t be shocked one family member lets off steam — that’s what pressure cookers do. So, build in pressure release valves in the form of one on one time with each of your kids. Let them vent. Empathize with them if they are annoyed by a cousin or if they miss their friends. By simply giving them a safe place to talk, you’ll be creating lasting memories and building relationships. If you struggle with listening (a difficult skill, to be sure), remember the three best words you can use to get kids talking: “Tell me more.”

3. Idle

Take care of yourself during these most stressful of days. Take a really long shower — go see a movie — take a walk — go and get some coffee. Recharge and renew. If you can take mini-retreats away from it all — even in the midst of it all, you’ll be better equipped to be calm, cool, and connected when you return.

Hal Runkel, LMFT, is the author of ScreamFree Parenting and founder of ScreamFree Living. For more information, visit www.screamfree.com

« Previous Page — Next Page »