Conquering the Chaos Part III – Creating a Family Schedule that Works

Conquering the Chaos Part III - Creating a Family Schedule that Works

Congratulations on making it this far in our Conquering the Chaos series.  This is the final installment of our three part series and before getting into the details of making a family schedule let’s recap what we have done so far.

If you have followed along in Part I and Part II in our Conquering the Chaos series you should have the following things completed:

• An inventory of how and where your family spends their time
• A good understanding of the bottlenecks, habits, and patterns that are causing problems
• A list or understanding of things you want to change
• A list or understanding of the things working well
• What areas or activities are causing the most stress in your life as well as which areas are consuming the most time
• What areas of your life need more time
• What areas or buckets of your family life that are the most enjoyable
• A Family Life Vision - A well thought out articulated statement of how you want your family life to look and feel

We will use all of these things to create a solid family schedule, so if you haven’t already go back to Part I and Part II and work through them before continuing on with this segment.

Setting Anchor Points

To finalize your family schedule you need to begin by setting anchor points to your day.  These are the ideal start and end points to your day in which everything fits in between.  Using the family life vision you wrote in Part II as a guide, set an ideal start time of your day and an ideal ending time of your day.  For example, let’s say you would love to start your day no earlier than 6:00am and be in bed everything night with lights out by 10:00pm.  6:00am would be your start time and 10:00pm would be your end time and all the family life bucket activities need to fit within these two times.  These times are the anchors to your day and need to be realistic.  If you are unrealistic in setting these anchors then your family schedule will soon start to fail after implementation, so put some thought into them and be sure to keep in mind whether you are a morning person or a night owl. 

Establishing Priorities

Okay now that you have the anchor points to your day set, it is time to start establishing priorities.  This part may be difficult for a lot of people, but without it you will find yourself and family scattered and overwhelmed. 

Using the family life vision statement you created in Part II as well as questions you answered in the Family Life Bucket exercise, you need to go through all the family life buckets and sort them into three categories - High Priority, Medium Priority, and Low Priority.

High priority buckets are buckets in your life that mean the most to us or are “requirements of living”.  These are the things we do throughout our day that are either necessities for living like eating, showering, homework, or that are intrinsically important to our family.  These are the “must do’s” and “want to do’s” of your day.

The medium priority buckets in your life are the “should do’s” of your day.  These are the things that we may or may not enjoy doing, but have to be done to avoid negative consequences and to function normally in life.  For example, house cleaning for many people may fall into this category.  It isn’t something we must do to survive and isn’t necessarily something we enjoy doing, but if it isn’t done can result in unhealthy living conditions and distractions to the family life.  Other things that may fall into this category are things like laundry, bill paying, lawn work, or visits to the dentist. 

The low priority buckets of your life are things that are not critical to everyday living and you do if you have time or energy.   For some people this may be things like making beds, washing windows, or fixing a squeaky door hinge.   These are the buckets and activities that we will assign the least amount of time in our schedule. 

Creating a Family Schedule that Works

Now that you have all of your family activities and buckets prioritized it is time to put everything into a family schedule.

To do this you will need some type of blank weekly schedule and a pencil.  You can use our family schedule printable or create your own.  Just be sure to have one with all seven days and one in which you have room to write. 

To begin, start with your highest priority items and your anchor times and go through each day assigning a block of time for each high priority item.  Much of how you allocate time for each high priority activity will depend on the hard points in your schedule such as when school starts or when you need to be at work.  To avoid making this step too tedious, start by just blocking off chunks of time (see the weekend example in our printable) for each high priority item rather than trying to assign specific time slots.  Over time you can refine the schedule and make it more detailed by assigning specific time slots if you need them to help you stay on track.  Once you schedule in the high priority items, go through and fill in your schedule for the medium priority items and the low priority items.  When you are done you should have a schedule with time each week or day for each family life bucket on your list. 

Sticking to the Schedule

Now that you have your family schedule created here are some tips to help you stay on track.

• Post the schedule in a central location so that you MUST look at it every day.
• Add reviewing the family schedule to your daily routines.
• Work on anticipating disruptions and managing disruptions so that you can stay on track
• Don’t be afraid to change the schedule if you find something isn’t working. Most if not all families will have to make some changes to the schedule and this is okay!
• Use the family schedule as a guide and learn to be flexible when it comes to making changes and deviating from the schedule from time to time. Letting the kids stay up an hour later occasionally isn’t going to ruin the schedule just as long as you don’t let it become a habit.
• Practice delegating, deleting, and simplifying certain activities so that you can fit everything in at a comfortable pace.

Remember, there will be days where no amount of scheduling and planning will help.  On days like these, just accept the disruptions for the day while being careful not to use the bad days as an excuse to abandon the schedule.  

Good luck!

Planning Your Next Family Outing

It never fails, we will be happily driving along for a family outing to enjoy some of the traditional fall family fun like a cider mill, corn maze, or just a drive to enjoy the fall foliage and one of us will inevitably ask “Did You Bring the Camera?“  It should never be like this, but unfortunately there are times when we are less than prepared and either have to do without something we forgot or need to turn around and go back to get it .  So this year in an effort to make things easier and the transition out the door and on our way smoother we have created a free family activity planner to help us and you get organized.  Here are some tips and suggestions to make the most of this free printable.

Some common things you may need for your trip are a camera, video camera, sunscreen, maps, cell phones, discount coupons, snacks and/or lunches, car activities, and first aid kit

Save yourself some money by visiting the website of the place you are visiting to see if they have any discount coupons to print off and bring.   Also, to save money and avoid standing in long lines, try packing rather than buying your lunch.

Try and get as much of the prep work and packing done the day or night before to make the transition smoother the next day.  Things you can do the day before are fill the car with gas, check or replace the camera batteries, charge your cell phones, print off maps, pack your family backpack with supplies, go to the bank, set out clothes, check the weather, make lunches or snacks, and check your first aid kit. 

Print off a few copies of the family activity planner and keep them in your family activity file so they are easy to find when you need them.

Save your completed family activity planner sheet along with the map and any other documentation or information about your day trip in a family activity file so that you can reference it next year and save yourself time reinventing the wheel so to speak.

Good luck!

Conquering the Chaos Part I – Taking an Inventory of Your Life

With the start of a new school year we thought it fitting to take some time to talk about how to create a family schedule and routine.  Most families start out with good intentions to create a more harmonious family life by vowing to cut back on the running, stress, and general chaos of everyday life, and for a variety of reasons abandon the commitment and plan shortly into the new school year partly out of exhaustion and partly out of an inability to overcome the hiccups along the way. 

With this in mind we are beginning a three part series on Conquering the Chaos.  Over the next three monthly newsletters we will tackle three aspects of creating a sound family schedule - Taking an Inventory of Your Current Family Life, Organizing Your Family Life into Buckets, and Creating a Family Schedule that Works.  By dividing the topic up into three segments we hope families will have a chance to take some time working on each aspect and be ready to move on to the next topic the following month.  So let’s get started!

Taking an Inventory of Your Current Family Life

The secret to any good family schedule is to understand in detail the current situation and being honest about what your family needs and wants to change.  This is the hardest part for many families because it takes the most time and often forces parents and kids to face some of the reasons behind the current craziness of their lives.  Without this step though, you run the risk of not addressing the root causes of your chaotic lives and eventually “fixing” the wrong things. 

Understanding Where You Spend Your Time

Have you ever gotten to the end of a long day and asked yourself, “What did I do all day?”  This happens to many families who have become overwhelmed with the general craziness of life.  Parents know they did something, but their accomplishments and efforts have become overshadowed by the chaos of the day and for the life of them, they can’t remember anything they did throughout the day.  To get a true handle on your schedule and the current state of your family life, you first need to take an inventory of where you spend your time and how long everything takes.  In essence you are doing a mini time study of your family’s habits, schedules, and time so you can better understand where your time goes, the bottlenecks, poor habits, and patterns of your family life. 

To get this step started you will need a copy of the Family Life Time Inventory for both parents, one week of your time, and a little dedication and persistence.  Begin by printing off the family life time inventory for yourself and spouse.  You also may want to print off additional copies to post on your refrigerator or keep in your briefcase or desk at work. 

The time inventory has sections for each day of the week and is further divided by morning, afternoon, and evening sections.   Begin by choosing a week that is fairly typical of your everyday life and then begin making notes each day about the things you do during the morning, afternoon, and evening.  Be sure to keep enough detail so you can actually pinpoint the specific tasks you did as well as how long they took, but not so much detail that it becomes burdensome to keep up.  Also be sure to keep any notes regarding bottlenecks, habits, or patterns you have noticed.  Feel free to expand any notes or thoughts you have on the back of the paper. 

If you work outside the home, it will be your choice as to whether or not to include details on your work activities.  If you just want to keep notes on your family life activities during the day while at work, be sure to have one handy at work.  Some examples of things you may do while at the office are, making doctor’s appointments, picking up birthday presents on your lunch hour, or updating your work calendar with the kids’ activity schedule. 

Understanding the Bottlenecks, Habits, and Patterns

After a week of doing the time inventory you should begin to notice bottlenecks, habits, and patterns to your family life.  For example, are the mornings crazy because too many people are using the bathroom at once?  Is the TV distracting you and the kids in the evening?  Is your toddler having meltdowns every time you try and leave the house?  It is important to understand these because these things are often the culprit of a disruptive family routine and sometimes can easily be changed or fixed with minor tweaks.  So take some time to make notes on these things and experimenting with making some changes.  We will discuss them further in Step III - Creating a Schedule that Works.

Evaluating What You Want to Change and What Works Well

Your last assignment is to sit down as a family and discuss the things you want to change and the things that are working well.  For example, some parents may want to make it possible to get more sleep for themselves and their children.  Another example may be to sit down more often as a family for dinner.  Just as important as noting the things you want to change is making note of the things that are working well.  For example, Friday night family nights may be something that are currently working well and shouldn’t be changed.  Another example may be parents taking time every evening to read to their children.  If it is something you enjoy and something that isn’t causing any current stress to the family then it is probably something you are doing well and shouldn’t be changed.  Use our printable, a notepad, or better yet a table top flip chart (kids LOVE these) to make your notes and document your conversation.  Save everything for use in Parts II and III.

If your kids are old enough it is important to do this step as a family.  Put one of your kids in charge of making the notes and be sure to give everyone a chance to voice their opinions and concerns. 

Good luck!

Creating a House Cleaning Schedule

The key to keeping house cleaning from overrunning your family life is to create a plan consistent with your housecleaning philosophy and stick to it.  As with any new plan or change there will be bumps along the way, so don’t be afraid to fine tune it as you go along or change it as your schedule changes. 

How to Start

Begin by making a master list of all your house cleaning chores.  After you have made your master list, go through the list and indicate whether they should be done on a weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, quarterly, semi-annually, or annually time basis.

After you have your master list complete, go through and clean it up by writing it on a house cleaning schedule.  You can use one of ours, create your own to suit your own tastes and style, or try using an online chore organizer like MyChores to help get you organized.

                House Cleaning Schedule - PDF Format

                House Cleaning Schedule - Word Format

After you have a clean copy of your house cleaning schedule, print off a copy to keep in your Kitchen Folio or attached to your refrigerator and bulletin board.

Also, be sure to add the chores to your family calendar or planner as well as to your daily routines.

Tips to Make House Cleaning Easier

Get the entire family involved in the house cleaning by assigning age appropriate chores to kids and consider paying them a weekly allowance. 

Avoid adding a lot of cleaning to the days when you have a lot of appointments or errands.

Keep it flexible - be willing to move things around a bit to fit in last minute requests from the kids or work or the school

Don’t save everything for one day of the week.  Do a little bit every day so that you don’t become overwhelmed.  It is much easier to find a free 30 minutes here or there rather than a 2 or 3 hour block of time to clean the house.

Family Fitness Challenge

Exercise has never been at the top of my list of fun things to do and I do whatever I can to not fit it into my schedule.  My husband has a slightly more positive outlook and manages to fit in weekly volleyball games, bike rides in warm weather, and an occasional workout on our home exercise equipment.   And if it weren’t for the really comfortable overstuffed chair that always seems to call his name, he would be more active as well.  If we didn’t have kids we would maybe be more accepting of our sedentary lifestyle and feel a lot less pressure to exercise and stay fit, but because we believe in walking the talk with our kids we are forced into making honest attempts at exercise and eating healthy. 

So to give ourselves a boost of enthusiasm, we have implemented the Family Fitness Challenge this spring.  It is our simple little way of teaching the kids about eating healthy and exercising as well as fitting in some fun quality family time as well. 

Simply stated, a Family Fitness Challenge is an exercise and healthy habit plan we came up with together to try and make healthier choices.  We have established a few goals and will track our progress over the spring and summer months with occasional rewards thrown in along the way.  Here is our fitness challenge for this spring:

Eat 3 healthy meals 6 days a week

Exercise 3 times a week one of which has to be as a family

Eat only 2 junky snacks a day

Eat only 1 sugary cereal 1 day a week

So if you are like us and are looking for some creative ways to get your family moving here are some tips and suggestions to help you get your Family Fitness Challenge going:

Make your goals as a family, asking one of the older children to write them down.

Make your fitness goals realistic.  It is better to start small and then build up rather than set them too high and fail.  Be mindful of your family’s schedule, routines, and personality while writing your fitness goals.  Make your fitness goals fit your family rather than forcing your family to fit your goals.

If your family fitness goals include cutting back on junk food, you may have to consider thinking through and defining as a family what is and isn’t junk food as well as appropriate serving sizes. 

Use a fitness chart to track your progress and let your kids take turns handing out the gold stars.  You can create your own or use our template.

                Family Fitness Challenge Progress Chart - PDF Version

Build in rewards along the way.  For example, a possible reward may be a night at the movies after 4 weeks of consistently meeting your goals.

Don’t set weight goals for your kids.  Keep the goals focused on fun, eating healthy, and exercise.

For more complex goals, consider using a fitness notebook to help keep track of your progress.

Good luck!

The Power of a Good Routine

A family with purpose is a family who strives to manage and balance their lives and who work diligently to prevent their lives from being controlled by outside factors. A family with purpose sets priorities and lives their lives accordingly.

For the most part, all of us have some sense of a daily routine already.  Usually dictated by school, work, and extra-curricular activities, our daily routines at a minimum usually involve consistent schedules for getting ourselves off to school or work in the morning, dinner on the table in the evening, and into bed at night.  But what many families struggle with is fitting in and remembering all the extra’s that go along with having kids, full time jobs, and outside commitments and obligations.   The extra’s like making lunches, throwing in a load of laundry, running errands, returning phone calls, arranging play dates, and helping kids with homework.   It’s all the extra’s that go along with our major commitments that can become overwhelming and add to a family’s stress, chaos, and frustration.  And this is where the power of a good daily routine can be a life saver for busy families by helping families gain focus and get more consistent with their lives.  Well thought out and crafted daily routines offer families a little slice of peace in their often hectic lives by minimizing the thought that goes into the routine tasks of everyday life and the nervousness of feeling like there is too much to do. 

When creating your family’s routines it is important to remember not all families are created equal and what works for one family may not work for another.  For daily routines to be effective, families need to pay attention to their own unique needs and family rhythm and develop routines that compliment their needs.  Simply copying your neighbor’s system won’t work and will eventually lead parents and kids down a path of frustration and abandonment. 

So how do families go about creating their routines?  Here are some suggestions to get you started:

• Do a Brain Dump - Sit down and do a brain dump of all the routine tasks that need to get done every day for every family member.  Keep things like housework and yard work off the list for right now.  Life will not come to an end if the floor doesn’t get vacuumed, but your son showing up at school without his lunch or having no clean underwear to wear can be a problem.  Stick to daily critical tasks of getting yourselves off to school or work and living from day to day.  We will cover housework and yard work at a different time. 
• Write It Down - Parents are way too busy to rely on their aging memories to keep track of their daily routines, so be sure to write them down.  Where you write them will be unique to each family.   Some families will choose to write them on their family calendar or in their planners.  Others will choose to keep them posted on the kitchen refrigerator, family bulletin board, or paperwork organizer.  Still others will choose to program them into their electronic calendars.  The choice is yours, but be sure to use a system that compliments your current system for keeping track of family obligations.  Adding an entire new system will only lead to confusion.   To make this easier for your family, use one of these daily routine templates as inspiration.  We have provided them in the standard PDF format for easy duplication as well as in a Microsoft Word format to make it easier for families to customize them for their individual needs. 
  • Daily Routine Templates - PDF Format
  • Daily Routine Templates - Word Format
• Accommodate Your Family’s Natural Rhythm - When crafting your daily routines be cognizant of your family’s natural rhythm.  For example, most parents and children have a particular time of day when they are their freshest and most effective.  Structure your routines to make the most of your best time.  If you become brain dead by 7′oclock every night then front load your routines for earlier times in the day and make them less intensive in the evening. 
• Be Flexible - Your family’s routines will evolve over time and won’t be perfect the first time you use them, so be flexible and willing to make changes.   Also, the routine will most likely need adjusting as families make the transition from structured school days to the more relaxed days of the summer.   Just remember to keep copies of your school year and summer routines so that you don’t have to rethink them when kids go back to school. 

Good daily routines will help families gain better control of their lives by making the recurring tasks of daily family life more manageable and a little less overwhelming.  Eventually after your family has been using them for a while you will find little need to even look at your routines.  They will just become habit and ingrained in your lives.  Good luck!

Family Goal Setting Chart

Recording and tracking your family goals is a big part of ensuring success. To help, try using a family goal setting chart (this is in a pdf format) to help keep you focused. Personalize it with family photos or images cut from magazines to give it a more inspirational feel.

Travel Printables

Keep organized on your next family vacation with these free printables. Requires Adobe Reader. You can download it for free here.

Travel Checklist
Packing Checklist - Version #1
Packing Checklist - Version #2
Car and Travel Games