Using the Excitement of a New School Year
August 12, 2010 by Polly
Filed under Staying Strong

Use the excitement and energy of the new school year to check-in, reevaluate, and celebrate your family life. Here are three ideas to help you.
Check-in on Your Family Goals
Early in our Fresh Start series we talked about writing family goals. Use the excitement of a new school year to check-in on your progress. Families can use this opportunity to add new goals, celebrate your successes, and tackle obstacles that are getting in your way. Remember to keep your family goals simple, age appropriate, and SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound).
Pick Something to Improve
Pick something about your family life, schedule, or routines that didn’t work so well last year and make a plan to improve it this year. For me, I plan on getting better at making my kids healthier breakfasts and making the mornings less rushed. Don’t beat yourself up over this, just acknowledge the problem and work together as a family to fix it. No mom needs anymore mom guilt.
Celebrate Your Successes
Too many times we obsess about the things we do wrong or the mistakes we make and take too little time to celebrate our successes or the things we do well. Now is a great time to pick one or two things your family does well and celebrate them. Talk about your successes at your next family meeting or at your next family meal, and think about having a special toast with plastic champagne glasses filled with grape juice.
What Does It Mean to Be a “Good Dad”?
June 25, 2010 by rebecca
Filed under Staying Strong
Sandra Huber of The Soulful Parent
Things are very different today than they were 50 years ago, wouldn’t you say? We would all probably agree that when it comes to parenting things seem to have challenged exponentially. I see the relationship my husband has with our daughter for example and I am always amazed how intimate, fun and challenging it is. He’s not the father his father was. And I wonder, how does that happen? How do you become an affectionate, loving, caring, involved parent, when you didn’t have that as an example when you were growing up? From his point of view, it’s as simple as doing the things he would have wanted his own dad to have done. But I tend to think it’s more than that. It’s a commitment to show up in our daughter’s life fully; it’s a decision to express love in words and in deeds. It’s respecting when she says no and listening to her, encouraging her all the way, not in spite of the fact that she’s a girl, but because of it.
When most of our fathers were raising us, a “good father” was synonymous with “good provider.” He supported his family financially, mowed the lawn, washed the car, and maintained discipline in the home. No one seemed to care whether he ever spent much time with his children; in fact, he was discouraged from doing so, and told to leave the kids to his wife. When you think about it, it wasn’t too long ago, when the main responsibility of men was to brave the wild best of the jungle, hunt for food and provide their families with food and shelter. Women were with the kids, pregnant, nursing, and gathering. Men were in charge of protecting the family from the outside forces and dangers. They were brave, strong and daring. Women were nurturing and kept the species going (thank God!).
I have discovered among my friends, that there is truly a new “breed” of dads out there. They are interested in many aspects of their child’s growth. It’s important for them to allow their boys to learn to be gentle and kind, not always aggressive and competitive. I also see them encouraging and empowering their girls to go out and be assertive, to reach out for their goals. I have noticed that the boys my friends are raising and I know that they will not be afraid of or shamed out of expressing love and tenderness. I see the girls my friends are raising and can’t help but notice that they relish their strength with a sense of courage and adventure.
As I watch my daughter rough-house with this “bear of a man” that my husband is at 6′6″ and 265 lbs, I can see that he’s committed to being flexible with rules, honoring decisions more than compliance, listening more and showing his love for this strong-willed 8 year-old whether it’s accepted, rejected or somewhere in between.
And that is why I love this man.
Sandra is the “soul” and “coach” behind the Soulful Parent. She has worked in Early Intervention, Special Education and has supported many families in the road to successful parenting. She became a PCI Certified Parent Coach® because she’s deeply passionate about changing the world, one family at a time. Sandra believes that life becomes a more enjoyable journey when you lead from your strengths! She can be contacted Sandra {at} thesoulfulparent(.)com and www.thesoulfulparent.com for more information about seminars, presentations and individual coaching services.
Summer Sanity Savers for Busy Moms
June 11, 2010 by rebecca
Filed under Parenting Tips
Susan Heid of The Confident Mom
Transitioning from School to summer is hard on kids, but I think it is even harder on us moms! If we have been lucky enough to have all our kids in school during the day, we are somewhat use to some time “alone”. This abrupt change when that last bell rings for the school year can put some moms into the funny farm. Seriously! But with some quick planning and some deep breathing – we can all make it through another summer.
I would love to share with you a few ideas that have come up in coaching calls that I have had with other busy moms lately as we tackle the issue of “summer” and the added stress it can have for moms. Hopefully a few will be right on target and make your summer more of a dream than a struggle.
Trading kids
So this is a great way for you to still have some time “off” even when you are suppose to be “on duty” 24/7 now! Do you have a friend or neighbor with similar age and number of children? Why not coordinate a day per week where you take all the kids and she gets a break and then she takes the kids and you get a break! You could work this as an all day event, but I much prefer the before or after lunch schedule. Say you pick up her kids at 1 PM, they’ve already had lunch and off you go to do some exploring with your kids along for the ride. I know other moms have realized this secret….shhhhh…… “The more kids that you have in your arena does not mean it is more work!” Come one, you know what I mean! Choose a fun activity (beach, park, zoo, etc) and supervise everyone having a good time. You may even be surprised that you can get a few chapters of your favorite book in while they are splashing about. The reward is your afternoon FREE of kids – just imagine how wonderful that break will be and what you can do during that time.
Routines and Schedules
This is non-negotiable! Even though it is summer and everyone wants to be lazy and “hang out” you still need some kind of structure to create a flow in your home. We have a much more laid back summer routine for the morning, but never the less the kids know what needs to be accomplished by a certain time and what they’re responsible for. It allows for everyone to actually do something rather than waste the day away. Some days it is fine to lay around til noon in your jammies, we even schedule “Pajama Day” at our house, but if it becomes a habit you are just asking for trouble. Set up some expectations and stick to them.
Plan Ahead
Sit down with your kids and come up with some ideas of fun things you ALL would like to do this summer. We have done this many times and it works great. It is amazing what they come up with. Then we take out the calendar and actually plan a time to do the activity. If you miss this critical step you will likely have a hard time fitting it in. When you fail to plan you plan to fail. You might choose a day of the week to “do” these ideas, maybe Wednesday’s. Then everyone looks forward to the next week and the activity that is planned.
Time Outside
So this one is an easy one, getting your kids outside – but they key here is getting YOU outside! Stop dusting the coffee table, checking email or folding laundry – get outside and enjoy the weather with the kids. You can even create a “deal” with them. If you are outside for ________ amount of time, they help you with a household duty that you would normally be doing during that time. Then they learn how to help out and how it can benefit them too. I think give and take is a great lesson to learn early. If they give you 15 minutes of laundry folding, they get you outside for an hour having a water balloon fight or tie dying T-shirts.
Easy Meals
Come up with some easy lunch ideas that your kids can either help you prepare or do it all themselves. I especially love when I have leftovers and the kids just re-heat those. It makes it great for everyone. We do like to experiment at our house though, so usually we plan one day in the week to do a special lunch recipe, making it part of an activity. This can be making pizza, homemade macaroni and cheese or another favorite you have. Make sure you plan ahead to avoid fast-food, especially if you are going to be out and about. The worst habit you can fall into during the summer is quickly running through the drive-thru because it is the “easiest”. At times it is necessity, but a little planning can prevent the trip!
Check Your Community
There is often a lot of great FREE programs offered by the library, community centers and even businesses. Make sure you Google your local area for “free kids events” and see what comes up. Our local area has free kids concerts, low-cost movies, puppet shows, and discounted park admissions that can all be easily found and enjoyed. I cannot tell you how many concerts we went to one summer when my kids were fairly young – in fact they still talk about it and we are 10 years away from that time! You are creating memories here – take the time to create the good kind.
Pray
Keep doing what you need to do in order to keep fresh and connected. This is truly the best sanity saver that I know!
I am just finishing up a great Summer Calendar of Activities for Moms. Make sure you check my web-site or get on my newsletter to be notified when that comes out. A printable calendar for June, July and August with nearly 100 activities, crafts, recipes – all with linkable instructions, all for only $3.99. I can’t wait – it is sure to make your summer a little easier and especially more FUN, I know it will be helping me out!
Susan Heid helps moms get the BIG picture on how their home is functioning and then helps them gain relief with a personalized plan of action to give life changing results. Susan’s training as a PCI Certified Parent Coach. a Certified Family Manager Coach and a ScreamFree Certified Leader gives her a unique combination to encourage and support busy moms in the art of Home and Family Management. Empowering Moms and Strengthening Families is her passion. Are you ready to make positive changes that will impact your family for generations? You can start by visiting The Confident Mom and requesting her FREE ebook, “Getting Kids to Cooperate and Become Team Players – 10 Essential Strategies and Solutions”.
The Power of Consequences
May 26, 2010 by rebecca
Filed under Parenting Tips
Sandra Huber of The Soulful Parent
I just finished an amazing 3 days of training to become a Scream-Free Certified Leader. What an amazing journey of learning that was! I know that not all of us use screaming as a tool to attempt to discipline our children. Some of us loose our cool in other ways: we withdraw, we humiliate, we punish physically or we simply dismiss the misbehavior. In the end, if I am not putting the responsibility back on my child not only for the behavior but for its consequences, I am not doing a very good job of guiding her into the adult I want her to become.
The most amazing “aha” moment I had this past weekend, was the realization that helping my daughter understand the boundaries of acceptable behavior and the consequences for her behavior is crucial to avoid the meltdowns and power struggles that can otherwise ensue. But that wasn’t the revelation I had. What I discovered was that we have all been sold a big, fat lie: in order for consequences to be effective they need to be painful. They need to be harsh, uncomfortable and even, taken to the extreme, humiliating.
I have sat with this new idea, the one that says that what matters is that the consequences are clear and agreed upon, that they are fair and that they are applied consistently. I don’t want to punish my child: I want to teach her. If I allow the consequences to do the screaming, if step back and respond to her misbehaving with the reminder of what happens then, I don’t have to worry about punishing. The lesson doesn’t have to be that you are your mistakes. That when you behave badly, you are bad. I am choosing to have the lesson be different. You made a mistake, this is the consequence, and I love you still, but will enforce the consequence. End of story. Isn’t that revolutionary?
Last night, my husband and I agreed with our daughter that if we had to tell her more than once it is time to go to bed, for each time we did, she’d have to go to bed 5 minutes earlier the next night. It doesn’t sound like much, but it was motivator enough for our daughter to get going after the first warming. Of course, being the first time we implemented this rule, she decided to test it later on and ended up losing 5 minutes for the next night. Puzzled, she said to me: But mom, you need to pick a harsher punishment. I don’t care if I lose 5 minutes tomorrow. That’s not punishment”. I smiled and responded: “You are right honey, it’s not a punishment. It’s only a consequence”!
Punishment and discipline look at raising our children from two very different perspectives. They both can result in our children doing what we want. The first one, punishment, forces our kids to obey. The second one, discipline, teaches them to do the right thing because it is the right thing. It’s our choice. What would you choose?
Sandra is the “soul” and “coach” behind the Soulful Parent. She has worked in Early Intervention, Special Education and has supported many families in the road to successful parenting. She became a PCI Certified Parent Coach® because she’s deeply passionate about changing the world, one family at a time. Sandra believes that life becomes a more enjoyable journey when you lead from your strengths! She can be contacted Sandra {at} thesoulfulparent(.)com and www.thesoulfulparent.com for more information about seminars, presentations and individual coaching services.
Helping Your Child Make the Right Choices
May 26, 2010 by rebecca
Filed under Parenting Tips
Susan Heid of The Confident Mom
One of the main ideas that I try to share with the parents I work with in my coaching is the basic fundamental truth that you cannot control your child. Now, usually when a parent comes to me with a parenting concern they are looking for a way to change their child’s behavior – QUICK! Unfortunately I have to pop that bubble of hope and explain that as parents we only really do have control over our own actions and when we realize that and start relating to our children remembering they have a mind and will of their own we can start to move forward.
Most parenting books and resources just offer different forms of manipulation in order to get your child to do what you want them to do, when you want them to do it. You use charts, threats, and fear. I often ask parents if they would prefer their child learn to make the “right” choices or just make choices based on getting a reward or because ultimately they are fearful of you? Most often parents see the parallel here and chose the option of allowing their child to make choices and the lesson that teaches them about real life.
One area that most parents struggle with is allowing their child to suffer. Now don’t get the wrong idea – hear me out! Suffering can look many different ways, and I wanted to share with you what I have experienced and what I like to the moms I work with so consider.
I want to highlight two of the biggest fears/struggles that parents work through when trying to incorporate a new style of parenting in their home which allows their child to make more choices and the repercussions of those choices.
Allowing problem solving:
This one is the easiest for parents to grasp and actually put into action. Simply put, when your child has a problem and they come to you asking you to “fix it” for them – do you? This can be as simple as asking you a question. If your child is doing their homework and they ask you how to spell a word, do you stop what you are doing and give them the information or do you help them by showing how they can solve that problem on their own? Instead of just spelling the word for them, why not offer the dictionary or internet as a resource? When your family is getting ready to go out for the day and your child needs to bring along some items (a change of clothes, book, or other similar items) instead of just giving them that information when they come to you asking, why not ask them what they think they may need. They often will surprise you by knowing or at least getting close to what you had in mind – all on their own!
It seems the earlier and more times I started doing this type of questioning back to my children, the less they came asking me to help them solve something or think for them. They soon started figuring things our on their own without my help! Ultimately isn’t that what we want our kids to do, figure out solutions to their own problems? I don’t know about you but when my child leaves home I don’t really want them calling me 42 times a day asking me questions. Yes, that is a humorous way to look at the concept, but ask yourself, when do you start this type of learning experience for your children? Seems to me it makes sense to start is as soon as they are of an age to start solving some things on their own. Your child is an individual and you know them best – you will know the right time!
Allowing the wrong choice:
This experience is more difficult for parents to grasp and follow through on. It is hard to see our children make mistakes or make choices that would not be the best for them. We love our children, we want the best for them and watching them struggle is very difficult. But it is really the most loving thing we can do. When your child is given the opportunity to make a wrong choice and then work through the results of that choice with you as the parent alongside them, there is more learning going on there than just a speech would cover. Unfortunately we learn best when we actually have to walk through a bad choice and deal with the consequences.
An example I recall is what happened with one of our sons. In our home once you have shown that you are responsible to do your homework without our supervision or looking over your shoulder, you are then allowed to do your homework whenever you want. The catch is, if you miss an assignment or have a late paper, you lose that privilege for a period of time. Then we are dictating when homework must be accomplished.
Imagine how much more effective and impactful this becomes when my son realizes he didn’t look through his backpack good enough to realize he has an assignment due in the morning and then has to stay up till 11 PM to complete it OR deal with the consequence of losing his privilege of choosing when he can do his work. As a parent it was difficult to go to bed knowing he was still up, working on that paper. But I can tell you, as painful as it was to allow him to make that choice and then have to watch him solve it on his own, it impacted him in a way that lecturing never would have. There are so many opportunities to let your child have these little life lessons, don’t let them slip by because of your anxiety and fear.
Ultimately we all want to raise responsible and resourceful adults. That is our goal. I challenge you to look at situations that present themselves daily in your home where you can develop these two characteristics in your child. There may be more than you really had noticed when you start truly paying attention!
Susan Heid helps moms get the BIG picture on how their home is functioning and then helps them gain relief with a personalized plan of action to give life changing results. Susan’s training as a PCI Certified Parent Coach. a Certified Family Manager Coach and a ScreamFree Certified Leader gives her a unique combination to encourage and support busy moms in the art of Home and Family Management. Empowering Moms and Strengthening Families is her passion. Are you ready to make positive changes that will impact your family for generations? You can start by visiting The Confident Mom and requesting her FREE ebook, “Getting Kids to Cooperate and Become Team Players – 10 Essential Strategies and Solutions”.
The Rules of Engagement
May 11, 2010 by rebecca
Filed under Family Communication
By Sandra Huber of The Soulful Parent
A question that has been coming up often lately in my coaching group relates to setting family meetings and discussions. I believe that even the smallest children can benefit from having a family meeting, a friendly, fun opportunity to discuss the expectations that everyone has and discuss ways to implement agreed-upon changes. By doing that, we can set up rules in a way that makes sense to everyone, and can develop into the “Family Rules”. One of the great benefits of setting family rules is that we can stop bribing, rewarding and threatening our kids for their behavior or lack thereof. We can give our children the opportunity to succeed and gain self-confidence and pride on doing the “right” thing that supports the growth of the family.
Remember, it’s important to be aware of the level of expectations that is appropriate for each child’s specific ability, temperament and level of development!
Here are some important things to consider so you ensure those family discussions are more of a great opportunity to connect and less of a “chore”:
1. Everyone is listened to
By giving everyone an opportunity to be listened to you engage them in ownership of the process and the progress.
2. Nobody is put down or mocked
Respect for everyone’s feelings fosters the importance of the value of feelings. What a great lesson to give our kids!
3. Create space for respectful disagreement
Family meetings where we can truly move into the space of “agreeing” to disagree, allows everyone to feel validated and encourages the understanding that not everyone will see things the way we do. Our family life is the laboratory where our children learn to accept differences and respect other’s opinions while standing on their own truth.
4. Keep your cool
One of the biggest challenges for many parents during family meetings, when emotions run high, is to stay calm and cool. The likelihood of our buttons being pushed is greater when we are trying to solve problems. But if we can choose to respond instead of reacting, we can be present and available to our family to guide them through a successful family meeting
5. Everyone has a chance to talk
Make sure that even the youngest kids get a chance to say what is on their minds. Patience is needed because a 3 year old will tend to ramble on and share things that may not seem relevant to older siblings. By creating a time line for everyone to have a turn, you create a safe, respectful environment that says; you matter and so does your opinion!
Five Tips to Getting Your Child to Listen
April 22, 2010 by rebecca
Filed under Family Communication
Susan Heid of The Confident Mom
This topic gets a lot of attention! I often speak at MOPS groups and when I open up time for Q & A this topic comes up in one form or another. It is frustrating - no one likes to be talking and feel like no one is listening, especially moms who are trying to get everyone to do their part. This is a hot button for me, when I feel like my kids are not listening, just blowing me off or missing important instruction because they seemingly just don’t care, I often evaluate what part I am playing. Often times, we both are contributing to the frustration.
I have a few points to keep in mind when you get frustrated with your child not listening, or just to keep in practice so you don’t get to that frustrated point.
1. Short and sweet does the trick
“When you wish to instruct, be brief; then men’s minds take in quickly what you say, learn its lesson, and retain it faithfully. Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a brimming mind.” - Cicero, Roman orator, statesman
I love this quote and the relevance it has, especially with regard to parenting. I think we as parents get into a bad habit of trying to explain too much to our kids – at the wrong time! There is a time and place for long conversations, explaining reasons and rules – but choosing those times carefully will prevent a lot of confusion. In my ScreamFree Parenting we touch on this topic and how to not get caught up in power struggles or long drawn out explanations that usually end up getting no where. Being short and sweet, to the point will get you and your child much farther than long drawn out instruction or reasoning.
2. Make eye contact
Have you tried this before? I know this technique works very well, but I often get in too much of a hurry and forget to get my child to stop and look at me when I am giving instruction. I recently had a conversation with one of my children about how frustrated I was with him not listening. I told him what I needed from him and then asked him what he needed from me. He paused for a few moments and then told me he needed me to look him in the eye when I was talking to him. No shocker here, but how often I forget the basic steps! I told him I could certainly try to make that happen more and we were both happy with the outcome.
3. Have your child repeat instructions back to you
Do you have your child repeat instructions back to you? If you do, how does this work. I have found when I stop and take the time to have my children repeat instructions or requests back we are both fully aware of what the expectation is. There is no room for miscommunication, no “that’s not what you said”, or even the common “I never heard you.” Try to incorporate this more into your daily routine and it will start to come to you more naturally and you won’t even realize you are doing it!
4. Give choices
You may wonder - how does this have anything to do with getting my child to listen? Well, if you are engaging your child in a decision making process they are much more apt to listen closely. Giving instruction in a way that you empower your child to make a choice will keep his attention, especially when you are making eye contact as you have this conversation.
5. Are you listening to them?
Do you multi-task when your child is trying to tell you about their day? Are you busy working at the computer when your child is asking you a question? I am a big believer that children learn by example, so what are you truly teaching your children when you respond in this manner? I wonder how much influence it may have on my children when I am trying to do so many other things all while listening to them, and how they might get the idea they don’t have to give me their undivided attention when I am talking to them. Kind of a double standard, don’t you think? So, take the pause you may need in order to really listen to your child, if you need to ask them to wait a minute for you to finish, then do so. I am sure they would much prefer a mom who is giving 100% of her time to them rather than half-way listening.
You are a busy mom, lots of things to juggle and the last thing you need is to have to repeat yourself over and over. Hopefully you can try one of these new approaches to help move the little people along in your life without all the frustration!
Susan Heid helps moms get the BIG picture on how their home is functioning and then helps them gain relief with a personalized plan of action to give life changing results. Susan’s training as a PCI Certified Parent Coach. a Certified Family Manager Coach and a ScreamFree Certified Leader gives her a unique combination to encourage and support busy moms in the art of Home and Family Management. Empowering Moms and Strengthening Families is her passion. Are you ready to make positive changes that will impact your family for generations? You can start by visiting The Confident Mom and requesting her FREE ebook, “Getting Kids to Cooperate and Become Team Players – 10 Essential Strategies and Solutions”.
Make Sure Your Expectations are Realistic
April 22, 2010 by rebecca
Filed under Parenting Tips
By Laura Rolands of My Attention Coach
While a good idea for everyone, if you, your child or even your whole family have Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), it is critical that you set realistic expectations of yourselves and each other. By doing this, you will be more likely to experience success and be ready for your next move forward. ADHD can bring challenges with organization, time management, waiting and sitting still to name a few. If you set expectations too high, you may be setting your child or yourself up for frustration if those expectations are not met. On the other hand, I have seen my clients see in increase in their success and motivation when they start with realistic expectations.
Whether you are reviewing your family’s goals, setting your goals or establishing new goals for your son or daughter, you can review the checklist below to give the goals a reality check to make sure you have not set the bar too high.
- Do a gut check - does your expectation seem realistic? Trust your instincts!
- Is there an 80% chance of reaching the goal? If not, consider adjusting it.
- Does the timeframe seem realistic? If you want your desk completely organized by tonight, that may be too ambitious. Would it make more sense to give yourself a week with small milestones for each day?
- Is the challenge that the goal addresses related to ADHD or another medical-related condition? How much of the challenge can you or your child control? Give some flexibility when necessary.
- Are you expecting 100% compliance? With exceptions for safety and legal requirements, you might need to back off from 100% compliance. It isn’t realistic and is likely to cause you more stress than necessary.
If something does not seem realistic, adjust it. Even if you set the goal long ago, you can always go back and make it more applicable to you and your family. I encourage my clients to take smaller realistic steps towards their goals rather than trying to cover an extraordinary amount of ground in a short amount of time. I find that this builds success and confidence which help to build positive momentum for the long run. Let us know how your goal setting goes and what adjustments you are planning to make!
Laura Rolands is the founder of LSR Coaching and Consulting, LLC. She is a coach whose passion is to support, lead and inspire independence and success for people who have either been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD or who are facing other attention-related challenges. Her clients include individuals with attention-related challenges and/or their parents. If you have any questions or more suggestions to add, please visit her website at www.MyAttentionCoach.com .
Values vs. Beliefs
March 23, 2010 by rebecca
Filed under Parenting Tips
By: Sandra Huber of The Soulful Parent
One of the most surprising realizations for me as a parent was the awareness that I had jumped in into the job of mom without clearly understanding my own strengths and my own personal values. I recognize today that in order for me to be as effective as I want to be as a mom, I need to not so much determine what kind of mom I want to be but rather what kind of family I envision for myself. It’s hard to get somewhere without having at least some semblance of a road map, don’t you think? When you are aware of your values, have inspiring outcomes in mind and are willing to go the extra mile because you know the investment you can make in your family, parenting starts making more sense. You will begin the liberating process of creating the family life that nurtures everyone including you!
Here are some helpful tips:
1. Determine your core values as a family, because that’s really the only way to evaluate if you are living a happy, fulfilling, and meaningful family experience.
2. Values, as opposed to beliefs, truly come from your heart center, not from your intellect. When you identify what your core values are, you will know the direction you are heading and if/when you get off course. Your values become your “inner compass”.
3. If you are not sure what your core values are, consider asking yourself: “What is most important and meaningful in my life? Could you name 5 top values and prioritize them? The ability to do that will help you make decisions that bring you closer, not farther, to your desired future!
4. Understand that like everything else in your parenting journey, change is inevitable. Be clear that your family life values will continue to shift and be reshaped as you go on this journey.
5. Give up wanting to control EVERYTHING. I know by now you have figured out that our children are living systems, organically changing and moving which is an invitation for us to stay connected and in touch.
Remember: in parenting as in life, it truly pays off to be active, not reactive. Be as prepared as you can with clarity and focus. You and your family will be grateful for it!
Sandra is the “soul” and “coach” behind the Soulful Parent. She has worked in Early Intervention, Special Education and has supported many families in the road to successful parenting. She became a PCI Certified Parent Coach® because she’s deeply passionate about changing the world, one family at a time. Sandra believes that life becomes a more enjoyable journey when you lead from your strengths! She can be contacted Sandra {at} thesoulfulparent(.)com and www.thesoulfulparent.com for more information about seminars, presentations and individual coaching services.
Getting Ready for Kindergarten!
March 8, 2010 by rebecca
Filed under Parenting Tips, Staying Strong
By: Sandra Huber
It’s that time of the year when parents of pre-school kids to start thinking about the end of the school year and the decisions they need to make about pre-K or Kindergarten. Many questions come to mind: Will my child be ready to start in a classroom with a different routine? Is she learning everything she needs for Kindergarten readiness? Should I hold him back a year and wait for him to mature some more?
Many parents worry about their child’s first day in kindergarten, because they are concerned that the child might feel scared or lost, or that learning to get along with a group of new children might be overwhelming. Most children do just fine and are excited about entering into this new phase of their learning!
Here are 3 simple ideas to help you prepare for the transition:
- Be Sensitive. Validate your child’s fears and reassure him or her. Point out how he or she has succeeded in new challenges in the past, and will be fine with this challenge too. Point out that you, too, have felt nervous about starting something new, such as a new job. Give specific examples when your child might have felt jitters before and how they handled it well, such as performing in a dance recital or ballgame.
- Stay Positive. Keeping the topic of school positive and exciting is important. Don’t let your own emotions influence your child’s feelings about starting school.
- Adjust Schedules Early. Don’t wait until the day before school starts to give your child an earlier bedtime or wake up call. If your child knows the routine of what is expected on a school morning in advance, it definitely will make school mornings less stressful.
It is also very helpful to meet his teacher before school starts and to walk the halls of his new school in mid-August . It will make both of you more comfortable and off to a great start!!!
Sandra is the “soul” and “coach” behind the Soulful Parent. She has worked in Early Intervention, Special Education and has supported many families in the road to successful parenting. She became a PCI Certified Parent Coach® because she’s deeply passionate about changing the world, one family at a time. Sandra believes that life becomes a more enjoyable journey when you lead from your strengths! She can be contacted Sandra {at} thesoulfulparent(.)com and www.thesoulfulparent.com for more information about seminars, presentations and individual coaching services.

